Be Silently Drawn || Remus Lupin & Hermione Granger

Chapter 13

Remus Lupin had kissed her. Remus Lupin had kissed her.

A couple of hours after the fact and Hermione still couldn't believe what had happened. She'd kissed the young man who'd become Professor Lupin, and in her mind's eye she could clearly see the Remus she knew in her time, his expression reproachful as he stared at her, demanding an explanation for her actions here in the past. How could she have kissed the younger Remus without the older Remus's knowledge and consent?

Their kiss had been incredible, but she knew full well that she shouldn't have allowed it to happen. She shouldn't have allowed any of this to occur. She should've never befriended the younger Remus. But how could she have helped it? They'd practically been forced together. She'd woken up in his bed for goodness sake! He had been appointed her study partner, they had all the same classes and would have had all the same friends in common anyway. They were bound to become friends themselves, or at least friendly classmates. Even so, she knew she should have tried to keep more of a distance between them. Maybe then she wouldn't be in this position.

After a restless night filled with a lot of thought and little sleep, Hermione awoke feeling weary and tense and reluctant the next morning. She didn't want to get up because getting up meant facing Remus and having the talk she knew they had to have. She'd tell him she only wanted to be friends. She'd discourage the possibility of anything more developing between them, even if that meant accepting the inevitable awkwardness that would ensue from their talk as well as the risk of losing his friendship. But it was better, she reasoned, to give up her friendship with him here in the past, the time in which she was only temporarily residing, than to tarnish their relationship in her proper time in the future. So, with exceptional effort, she got out of bed.

Lily chatted cheerfully about Slughorn's party as they dressed, but Hermione was too preoccupied going over exactly what she wanted to say to Remus to pay her friend much attention. Lily took notice.

"What's up with you, Jean?" When Hermione didn't respond, Lily nudged her. "Jean?"

"What?"

"Where have you been this morning?"

"I'm so sorry, Lily. I'm a little distracted."

"I can see that," Lily said, looking more curious than irritated at Hermione's inattentiveness. "You were distracted last night, too."

Hermione knew Lily was intimating that she was open to hearing all about what was bothering her, but she didn't want to talk about it. Instead, she prompted her friend to tell her more about Slughorn's party. Lily picked up where she left off.

The two girls left their dormitory and descended through the castle together toward the Great Hall, but when they reached the first floor, Hermione told Lily she'd meet up with her later.

"Where are you going?" Lily asked, looking surprised.

"To the library. I need to get a book. Study."

"Don't you want breakfast first?"

"I'm not very hungry," Hermione told her truthfully.

She also didn't want to go down to the Great Hall because she didn't want to face Remus in front of the others without first speaking to him alone about last night. She would wait until she could get him on his own later.

Lily didn't seem to find it too unusual for Hermione to miss breakfast on a Sunday morning to study. Sometimes when a question struck her Hermione would stop whatever she was doing to hurry to the library and find the answer. Too bad the library couldn't help her in this situation. She couldn't research what a girl should do when she inexplicably gets thrown back to a time before she was even born and kisses the seventeen-year-old version of the professor she secretly has feelings for.