Starting Over

Chapter 16

"Papa, we are here to spring you!" Aria giggles as she and Jordan enter the hospital room.

Giggling lightly at her while slowly standing from the bed while holding my sore ribs; "You are silly, Rooster, and a life saver. Once the nurse brings me the discharge papers, we can leave. Thank you both for picking me up."

Just then, there is a knock on the door as it opens, and nurse Amy enters with warm smile, and papers in her hands; "Are you ready to leave, Hayden?"

"Yes ma'am, more than ready," I sigh, relieved to be going home. "Thank you for everything you, and everyone else here that have taken care of me while I was here."

Her smile grows slightly as she hands me the papers; "Anytime, but I do not want to see you here again until your daughter is ready to have her baby."

"That sounds more than fine with me," I murmur with a small smile at Aria who is smiling brightly back at me.

"Nurse Micah will be right in with a wheelchair to give you a free ride to the entrance," Amy states, and I know this is hospital policy, so I will not argue with her on this.

"I am gonna get the truck ready for when this happens," Jordan states, and I softly thank him as he moves to leave the room.

About a minute after Jordan has left, nurse Micah strolls into the room with the wheelchair in front of him to take me out of here. Nurse Amy leaves then with another smile, and a a small wave as I settle myself on the seat of the wheelchair.

"Aria, please place that on my lap, love, it an ride with me," I gently request when she picks up my duffel bag that she and Jordan brought here yesterday.

She places it on my lap carefully with a tiny frown, and I instantly feel guilty for upsetting her. I know she can carry the bag because it is light, but I do not feel as though she should have, too. Dropping my head forward slightly as nurse Micah pushes me toward the hospital entrance, and Aria walks beside me with a frown.

See, I screw everything up.

"Alright, here we are," Micah states, and I pick my head up enough to see the kids' truck a couple of feet in front of me.

"Thank you, I appreciate everything," I tell him while carefully standing with the bag grasped in my right hand.

"Not a problem," he replies as Aria opens the back truck door for me, and I slide inside slowly as I murmur my thanks. "Hope the rest of your recovery goes well."

Smiling my thanks at him as Aria shuts the door, and climbs into the front passenger seat next to Jordan. He drives us home with the two of them holding a conversation while I remain silent. When we arrive home, exiting the truck, and make our way up to our apartment.

"Hayden, are you okay, you were quiet the entire ride home?" J asks as we walk inside the apartment after he unlocks the door.

"Yeah, I am fine," I mumble, avoiding his and Aria's gazes. "I am gonna lay down in bed for a while."

"Okay," they reply, and I wander down to my room where I carefully lay down under the covers on my back with my broken wrist lying on top of my chest.

Once I am settled, I quietly sob into an extra pillow that I have over my face to muffle the noises. Crying freaking hurts my ribs, but I need to do this because I feel like a failure in life, my parenting, and my relationship with Finn. Falling asleep sometime later after exhausting myself from the crying, and from the pain in my body. I am jolted awake when the empty area on the bed next to me dips from a sudden weight. Gasping loudly despite the pain as my eyes snap open, and I frantically look next to me.

"Hey, hey, it is okay, it is just me," Finn quickly assures with gentle palms on my shoulders to keep me in place.

"You scared me," I breath out with a flinch from the pain. "I thought you were not gonna be here until you were done with work. Not that I am complaining that you are here."

His frown deepens at my words; "Hayden, it is six-thirty at night. I got out of work forty-five minutes ago, and stopped to pick up dinner for the four of us. The kids are getting the food dished out."

"Oh, sorry for sleeping for so long," I mumble, rubbing the sleep from my eyes while I move to climb off the bed.

"Hayden, wait a minute, please?" he quickly requests, his hand resting on my left shoulder, and I stop in my movements. "What is going on with you, and I do not mean with just your physical hurts?"

Letting out a shuddering breath, dropping my shoulders in defeat; "I feel like I keep fucking everything up in my life, and with Aria, and with you. I do not understand why I keep screwing up with the three, almost four most important people in my life. I feel like I cannot do anything right. I could not even keep the person who was supposed to my forever person happy, and in my life. How long before you, Aria, Jordan, and Preston leave me, too because I am not worth your time or attention."

"I will be right back," he murmurs with a gentle squeeze of my shoulders before walking around me, and out of the room.

Tears well in my eyes as I watch him leave the room, and I furiously scrub away the fallen, hot tears as they stream down my cheeks. I feel lost, and abandoned after admitting my short cummings to Finn. Sitting myself down in the corner of the room between the bed and the wall, bringing my knees slowly to my chest, and wrapping my arms tightly around my thighs as I sob into my knees.

I have no idea how long I have been in here along like this, crying my pain away, well, trying too, but yet again, failing miserably. I do not even care at this point that I am hurting myself. I believe that I deserve all the pain that I am experiencing, or will experience.