Starting Over

Chapter 1

-Flashback-

"Are you happy? Are you happy in our marriage? Are you happy with me?" I timidly ask my husband of twenty years as I fight to keep the tears from falling from my wide blue eyes as my heart thumps widely in my chest, and I feel as if it will bang out of my body. "You have been acting strangely for a few weeks now since she has been coming around.n I do not trust her, and I cannot give you reason why, I just don't."

Elliot stares blankly at me while fish-mouthing at me for several seconds, and I already know his answers; "No, I am not happy with our marriage or with you. I have not been for a while now, like for a couple of years. I have tried telling you, but every time I tried, you got angry with me. I want a divorce, and I don't love you anymore. If you do not trust my new friend, and her and I are just friends, and if you don't trust her, then you don't trust me."

My jaw drops in shock; "I never said I didn't trust you. What I said was I don't trust her. I will file for divorce when I can, and start looking for a place to live. I need time since I don't have any money saved for a new place. We need to be as civil as possible with each other."

Walking away from my husband toward the back door of our shared home of the last nine years. Entering and shutting the door behind me, I take about ten steps further into the home before the first sob leaves my body. Managing to collect myself a couple of minutes later, I walk into the bathroom to wash my face after blowing my nose, and then leave that room for the living room.

Man, I know I can be difficult to live with at times, but I never realized I was, or am this unlovable. I do not believe him, and I feel as though his new female friend is his reason for this. I feel that he loves her, and has been cheating on me with her, but I have no proof of this. I do not want to be his, or anyone else's second choice. I am the only choice, or not one at all.

-End Of Flashback-

That was exactly a year ago today. The day the newest chapter of my life started, and I had not realized this until some time later when the fog of my jumbled emotions started to clear. Our divorce took seven months because we have a minor child together despite the fact that our daughter is almost 18-years-old. I have moved from our marital home, and into a two bedroom apartment three months after Elliot told me he no longer loved me. Aria and I have now been in our apartment for nine months now.

Aria is my daughter that I share with my ex-husband Elliot, and she is 17-years-old, and will be eighteen next month on November 22, 2041. She was born on November 22, 2023 at 2:27 p.m., eight days before my twentieth birthday. My birthday is November 30, 2003.

Aria has seen her dad once in the time that we have been living in our apartment. This has not been by Aria's choice, but Elliot's because every time they made plans to either meet up in public somewhere for a couple of hours, or for her to spend a weekend with him, Elliot would not show, or cancel on her last minute, if he bothered to call her. She has given up on seeing him, or even having a relationship with him any longer. Aria's boyfriend Jordan Fletcher lives with us, and has for the last four months, and they are having a baby boy in four months. They are naming their son Preston Everett-Michal Fletcher.

I guess I should introduce myself to everyone, huh? My name is Hayden Lee James, yes, I kept my ex-husband's last name. The only reason I did this was because of my daughter. I am 38-years-old, gay, 6'1" with short black hair, blue eyes, and a slim build. I am a male carrier which means I can become pregnant, and birth a baby via C-Section. Yes, I carried Aria, and birthed her via C-Section.

"Papa, Charlie is here," Aria tells me as she softly knocks on my open bedroom door with a soft smile as I fold my load of laundry on my made bed.

Softly smiling at her as I finish my task, and stand to follow her from my room; "Thanks, love."

"Hey Hayden," Charlie greets as Aria and I enter the living room where she and Jordan are sitting on the furniture, and are talking. "Sorry for just stopping by, but I wanted to ask you if you are ready for work tomorrow morning?"

Charlie and I work in the kitchen at a 5-Star Italian restaurant, and we have worked there for five years now, and we have been friends for nine years. She is the pastry chef, and I am the head chef.

"Yeah, I am," I answer, totally confused by her question. "Why would I not be ready for work tomorrow?"

She frowns over at me with a shake of her head; "Have you forgotten that we are getting a new Saucier tomorrow morning?"

Frowning at her with wide eyes; "Fuck. I forgot about him. You know him right because of Thomas?"

She nods as I plop onto the opposite end of the couch as Aria sits on Jordan's lap as he is sitting on the recliner. Thomas is Charlie's boyfriend of almost a year. Charlie is around 5'10" with short, wavy blond hair and blue eyes. Thomas is around 6'1" with short, dirty blond hair, and hazel eyes.

"Yes, I met Arlington through Thomas," she confirms with a tiny nod of her head, and a warm smile. "They met in college their freshman year because they were dorm roommates."

"That's right, I remember you telling me that now," I reply with a bashful smile at her while scratching the back of my neck in embarrassment. "Sorry, my brain is still a little jumbled."

"That is understandable, Hay," Charlie hums with a reassuring smile as Aria and Jordan hum in agreement with her words. "What are your plans for dinner tonight, the three of you?"

"Um, we don't have any," I answer, chewing on my lower lip. "Why?"

"Thomas and I are having Arlington and another friend of theirs over for dinner," she explains. "I am inviting the three of you over too, that's why I stopped by."

Glancing at the kids, they nod eagerly, so I smile at my best friend in appreciation; "Thanks for the invite. What shall we bring, and what time should we be at your place?"

"You guys can bring a dessert, enough for seven people, and be at ours by six," she grins before standing. "I should be heading home now, so I can help Thomas clean and cook."

Following her to the door, I give her a tight squeeze, and bid her goodbye, even though I will see her in a few hours.