My Love

13.Nothing more-2

Pete's Pov

Suddenly I feel an uneasy feeling in my whole body making my mood upside down.

'Oh my... Am I going to throw up again?'  I felt a lump form in my throat but before I can reached the bathroom I vomited all over the bedside carpet. Like always I was too late. My throat started to burn, my stomach makes weird tension painfully and my head throbing from a headache.

I don't know what's happening with me. I feel weak all over myself. I feel like my mind covered wirh a dark foggy, my sense going numb little by little. I took some deep breaths while clutching my throbing head with both hands.

When I feel My vision get blurt a little by little, I take few deep breaths to steady myself while leaning at the foot of the bed.

This is not new, this shit is happenings every morning continuesly since two weeks. When I asked about my currently situation from doc he said to me there is nothing to worry about and it was a very normal reaction to person who is recovering from traumatic coma and maybe side effects from the medicine I had received.

By the time I was done with vomiting, my head was pounding like a drum and I covered with cold sweat and snot. My cheeks wet with tears and I feel like my throat on a fire. Literally said I feel like shit. This is probably due to the stress I feel yesterday, so there is not big deal.

I thought today my all plans get ruined but after a while I felt little easier than before so I slowly opened my eyes and got up. I have to clean this before anyone noticed that's the only thought ringing in my head now.

I quickly cleaned the all the mess I created before anyone noticed, I have to careful because I know from my experiences rumours spread like a wildfire in this household. First place it's not like I did something wrong or prohibition but I don't want to worry others who care about me. They already did more than necessary has been done.

Mmm..Where's my phone? Oh here you are.

'Milk?' A smile appeared on my face immediately as I noticed the glass of milk placed on the night stand table with a sticky note attached to it. I touched the glas with my index finger, it was already cold that means they probably came here around early morning.

"I hate lazy pigs but how can I hate you?" I recognised clumsy handwriting with a one look, these clumsy handwriting belong to not other than Khun. Oh there's more. It's a emoji of snoozing pig with 'my bro' writing down the emoji.

My heart warms up like a blooming flower in a desert. Every time I think I'm a burden to them they reminded me I'm a part of them. I don't know if I deserve their love but they make me feel worthy again.

I feel my eyes filling with the tears all the emotions I feeling right now, so I quickly grab my towel and enter to bathroom because I don't want to another pathetic break down in the morning.

I took a cold shower instead of a warm shower and weard a plain black trouser with a blue baggie hoodie. After that I had my breakfast with P'Khun, Arm and Pol. After a while P'Kinn also joined to us but he only had a coffee saying he already had his breakfast.

This feel so nice. This all feel like a dream, at this point I doubt even this is real. This feeling is as unfamiliar as it is familiar. Eventhough I feel happy it's not complete, I feel empty, then I realise what I'm missing.

I missed the family I built, I missed the family which I thought mine. I missed Macau, my little boy. And most importantly I miss my love, Vegas.

P'Kinn excused himself firstly while saying he has a meeting, but not before handing me a credit card to shopping. I refused it but he kind of force me to accept it. He is damn stubborn. After that we chatted a little.