My Love

07.Back to....

Kinn's pov

I'm here again in Thailand after a whole month with a fresh start. I felt free again like before I fell in love, I never thought I can feel it again. Now I have hopes to live again, I found my own light to my darkness. I'm sorry for make you all waited for me so long. And specially I have to apologise to someone whom I long neglected. Pete....

And most importantly guilt eat me alive, when I closed my eyes I always see his innocent face, who smiled at me whenever he saw me. He was always there for me but I abandoned him, I forgot about him when he needed me most, I broke every promises I gave to him, I failed to protect him as his best friend as his brother as his leader. I let him ruined by the monster. I will do anything to get his forgiveness even if it means me to kneel infront of that person. How I even trusted him with that monster ?

I forgot that there was other people who wanted me as a part of their lives, I acted like a fool. How pathetic? Now I'm really disgusted with my own past behaviours. I sighed and closed my eyes while leaning on sheet

There is a sudden call, Oh I think he already get my message, I took it immediately

"Annakin"....

"I'm here.".... I said happily and there is a little pause other side....

"Then Welcome back my little prince." ... I heard very excited voice other site.

This is the first time I talk with someone related to me, I never contacted anyone in my family or anyone through last few days except a one person. It reassured them that I didn't died yet and still alive.

After broke up with him I quickly flew away like a cowerd, because I can't take it at that time. It hurted me so much never felt like before. I loved him so much I can say confidently I loved him more than Tawan, I can't even described how much I loved Porsche. Again I made out a fool on myself.

When I firstly arrived to there, I lost all my hopes and all the reasons to live anymore in this world. I didn't have any reason to live anymore.

I want to end my missereble so badly
But I know I can't take my own life like a coward because I know I have responsibilities as a son, as a brother,  as a leader. But how I'm gonna survived it was the only question in my mind when I reached there at that time. I drank, I drank so much till my body get numb and all my sense fade away from me. I cried till my heart out.

Why they have to make my life that miserable, I only asked to love me back like I did. Is it that hard? Why? Why? Why?

After Tawan I closed my heart wholeheartedly, never opened it again to anyone till I met Porsche. I afraid to love again because I don't want to get hurted again. But Porsche......

I thought he was different, I started to feel freedom once again when I'm with him, he was able to bring a smile back to my face. I was very afraid to open my heart again to anyone but Porsche broke all barriers I made little by little. He became very special to me, finally he became my whole life to me. But once again I got fooled by someone name of Love.

I didn't know why he left me but I know
for whom did he leave me? Why you left me Porsche like that? I want answers. He betrayed me. It's ok but how he even thought to betrayed his best friend like that? He sacrificed his own life for Porsche, he didn't think twice to risk his life for him. His life destroyed because of Porsche but he never said any single word against Porsche. When everyone blamed and abandoned Porsche he stood up for Porsche. Why Porsche why? Why were you so selfish?

Was it my fault to trust him more than my life?

Or

Was it my fault to fell in love with him?

Or

I was too much demanding from him?

Or

I didn't love him enough? I questioned myself again and again but I didn't get any single answer.

When Tawan broke up with me I blamed my self, it's because of me. I always thought I lack of something, it was my problem that's why Tawan left me at that time. But it all changed when Porche came to my life. I found my lost confidence once again. But how wrong I'm? I think I didn't learn my lesson with Tawan so I fell with Porsche. Disgusting.

Tawan,Porsche or anyone doesn't matter to me anymore. Everyone gonna pay for their own actions when the right time come.

We reach the mansion Sooner than expected. It's already past 12 midnight. New day with new beginning.

I'm not gonna run away from my problems like a coward anymore. I know it's gonna take some time to adjust my self like before But here I'm going to face my problems and make it right this time because I know that it's not my problem all along.

This time I learn my lesson To never forget. It already took me so much time to understand what I lost because of my stupid heart. I hurted my family and my closed ones but I'm gonna make it right. It's already late to regret now but I'm gonna live again for them who love me unconsciously and never gonna think about who left me for their own gains or used me for their benefits. It's me Kinn Annakinn Theerapanyakul the heir of most dangerous mafia family in Thailand. This time I'm gonna live for people who treasure me, who love me and who want me as a part of lives.

This time I think fate is in my side. When I remembered what happened Over the last month it make me smile. It's true that I lost myself again. And I also found my happiness this time.

Can't wait to see them anymore, I can already imagine their shoked faces. This gonna be so much fun. I'm back to my old self. I want to embrace them like before. I want to love them like before. I want to care about them like before.

Someone special taught me greatest lesson of my life that Let go of the things that go and keep what you have cherish it forever.

"Khun Kinn we're here." I snapped out of my thoughts of sudden voice. I looked at surround,  this feeling is awesome.

Finally I'm home. I saw chan came to me.

"Swadekhap Khun Kinn! Khun Korn is waiting for you." Chan greated me. I can see his pure concern about me. He didn't showed his concern but I saw he relaxed after checking out me head to toe. That reminds me there are lot of people who really worried about me.
I chuckled and greated to him.

"Papa didn't sleeping yet?" I asked worriedly. It's already midnight what he doing this late?

"No..." Chan hesitated sometime and cleared his throat before continuing "I think Khun Korn can't fell sleep after that heard your arrival." I sighed after hearing that

"Hmm, let's go" Chan leaded me to Papa's bedroom and knocked it. I heard 'come in', Chan opened the door for me.

"Good night Khun Kinn. If you need anything please let me know." He slightly bowed me, I also nod my head with smile. I can see he taken back from my actions but he didn't tell anything

"Phi Chan." I always called him Phi because I realy respect this man. He was like a another family member to us.

"Yes, Khun."...

"Call me Kinn like before. And again ready to run after me like before but I'm telling you it's not gonna easy to catch me like before " I said with a big smile. I saw he stunned and look at me shockingly. I turned away and entered papa's room. I never see him stunned like this entire my life. This is so much fun. Sorry Phi Chan.

**************

Hi friends 🤗
Sorry guys for late update.
I hope you enjoy this chapter ❤ 💓

Have a nice day ❤