The Secrets She Kept

The Secrets She Kept - Chapter 26

"What do you mean you've been here before?"

"Exactly what I said." I called back, my feet stilling of their own accord.

"Are you sure? A sandbank look like every other sandbank I've seen in my life." Diane said as she splashed out of the water, empty urn in hand.

And yet, my eyes weren't focused on the sandbank. They were drawn to the odd looking house, set back far enough from the banks that I could only see the top level of its quirky architecture and bright blue façade.

"I'm certain. I remember the house." I shook my head. "God, how did I forget this place? Mum brought me here one weekend. I might have been eight? You and Dad had gone somewhere. Camping?"

"I don't remember that."

"I'm surprised. You didn't stop bragging about how Dad wanted to spend time with you and not me."

"Okay, now that I remember." Diane sighed. "I'm sorry. I could be a brat at times."

"As if I wasn't. Besides, I got to spend time with Mum. It was mostly fun," I replied, my head, my eyes fixating on the house set back from the beach. "We were here. And then there was a man. He had dark hair, I remember that much. He introduced himself as Mum's friend but, thinking back, it didn't seem that way."

Diane paused and glanced back. Her lips pressed into a thin line. "It was him?"

Swallowing, I shrugged and stomped towards her, my feet slapping against the shallow water with each step. "I don't know."

A furrow formed between my eyebrows. The image was there, a faded movie playing in the back of my mind. Mum's face desperate. Her hands clutching as his t-shirt before he backed away, breaking their connection.

The tears which flowed freely down her face as he walked away.

"They were arguing. They tried to hide it but I knew the signs. Mum and Dad always looked the same when they were trying to argue while pretending they weren't arguing."

"Mum did always love an argument."

"The Evelyn special."

Diane sighed. "What did you want to do? Did you want to try and find him?"

I shrugged my shoulders as I reached the pile of our stuff. Snatching up a bright pink beach towel, I passed it across to Diane before snatching up my own towel. I gently dried my legs even though it was tempting just to force my feet back into my shoes and run away as fast as humanly possible.

"I don't know. No. Yes. Maybe." I huffed out an angry breath. "What would it accomplish after all this time? And besides, maybe he wasn't the one. Maybe he truly was just one of her friends? Mum always got along with men better than women."

A cold hand came to rest upon my shoulder. "And what if he is the one. What if he is -.?"

What if he is my dad?

I shook my head. I had a dad - an amazing and truly wonderful dad that raised me.

"I don't want to hurt Dad. He's already been hurt enough." I lifted my eyes and gave another shrug. "And what if he is my biological dad? Maybe my remembering was a good thing. Perhaps this means she told him and he didn't want to know. Should I really spend my time chasing after someone who didn't want me in the first place? Should I chase after a man who was complicit in destroying not just one but potentially two marriages? What if he's not a good man?"

Diane sighed and shrugged, glancing down at the urn which had held Mum only short time before.

"I'm not defending anyone's actions but we're only human. We all make mistakes. Some, admittedly bigger than others."