The Secrets She Kept

The Secrets She Kept - Chapter 6

I'm not sure how long I sat there on the end of my mum's bed, breathing in the scent of stale perfume and staring down at my lap. It could have been seconds. It could have been hours. Time seemed completely meaningless when everything I thought I had known had been shredded into little tiny pieces. Who knew a little box could cause so much damage?

It was only the sound of steps coming up the stairs that drew me from my thoughts.

I blinked and my hands came into focus. My muscles ached from holding too still. Yet, as my sister drew near, I made no attempt to hide the box. I couldn't even if I tried. I was just so bloody numb inside.

"Hey, Rosie," Diane called, the floorboard on the landing squeaking under her weight. "I've made a good dent in the living room but I thought it would be a good idea to stop for – lunch."

She hovered in the doorway for a few moments, the weight of her stare almost physical as it bored into the top of my head. I looked only at my hands, as if I could divine the answers of the universe in the lines of my palms. Unfortunately, I neither had skill in palmistry nor the belief that little creases in my skin had the ability to decode the mysteries of fate and destiny.

"What's wrong?"

Rolling my shoulders to relieve the ache, I sighed, "Did you know?"

"Know what?" Diane asked, stepping further into the room.

I lifted my head, my eyes watching my sister's face for any signs of deception. "Did you know Mum was having an affair? Did you know she was cheating on Dad? Is that why -?"

My sister took the last few steps between us slowly. She pushed the pile of clothes on to the floor, and took a seat beside me. The springs in the old and very cheap mattress gave a tremble in protest under her slight frame.

She folded her hands in her lap, fiddled with the ring on her finger, before laying them flat on her thighs. Then, she looked at me with eyes so like Mum's it sent a wave of pain through my chest.

"Honestly?" She blew out a breath. "Yes, I did know."

"How could you not tell me?"

"It was a long time ago – and I mean a long time. Long before you were old enough to even understand." Diane spoke quietly, her fingers absently twisting the rings on her finger once more. "By the time you had grown up enough for the talk, it would have done more harm than good. I couldn't do that to you. You idolised our mum, thought she hung the moon and the stars, and I didn't want to take that away from you."

"That wasn't your choice to make."

"It was a choice I would make all over again. Would you have preferred that I had ruined your childhood and your relationship with Mum? You would rather have lost everything you had together?" Diane questioned fiercely, "Because, let me tell you, knowing her secrets broke our relationship. Our falling out was not an accident."

I blinked. All of the pieces set into place. "That's why you stopped talking to her?"

Diane nodded.

"You should have told me."

"I was trying to protect you."

"And in doing so, I lost the person I loved most in the world." I retorted before letting out a bitter laugh. "I may have ended up worshipping mum but, for the longest time, the person I loved the most was you. I wanted to be just like you. Then, you just turned your back on Mum and in the process turned your back on me. "

"Rosie, I'm – ."

"I lost you and, instead of hearing the truth from someone I cared about, I had to find out the truth from a box I found in the back of the cupboard." I continued, reaching behind me for the box in question.