BSD React/Chatfic

BSD react to me ranting about them

me: alright welcome back guys 

everyone: hi 

me: so today we shall talk about you guys bc i had some things i desperately needed to tell someone. 

everyone: o-okay... 

me: WE START WITH RANPO 

Ranpo: Why me? 

me: bc ur a cinammon roll 

Ranpo: ... fine 

me: okay so hear me out: Ranpo is autistic. 

Fukuzawa: can confirm, i got him tested. he's autistic 

me: yeah i mean, no wonder he's so fucking smart. 

Fukuzawa: language Ari. 

me: fuck no, you cant stop me. 

me: second, you have a praise kink don't you?

Ranpo: ........

Yosano: True dat 

Atsushi: what's a kink?

Kyouka: even i know what it is and you dont?? 

Dazai: You know bottoms and tops and switches but you dont know kinks??

Atsushi: .... should I search it up?

everyone: NO

me: okay next person: auktagawa. 

Aku: what did I do? 

me: FIRST OF ALL, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT DAZAI'S APPROVAL?? YOU'RE YOUR OWN PERSON AND YOU DONT NEED A SHITTY PERSON LIKE DAZAI TO JUDGE YOU AND PROVE YOUR WORTH. I love you aku but please. 

Aku: ........ You're right. 

me: also, why the fuck do you keep coughing? i searched it up and it seems you have some kind of lung disease due to Rashoumon thats basically killing you. 

Aku: you're right again. 

me: also, Dazai hit you on a daily basis in the Port Mafia. Did you not think of reporting that? 

Dazai: I don't even have a defence. 

me: shut up mf we're doing you last, your list is horribly long. 

Mori: I didn't know this Dazai. 

Atsushi: neither did I. 

Aku: I still have scars. 

me: Aku darling please..... why'd you let yourself get treated like trash? 

Chuuya: He also still has nightmares. every night, he wakes up screaming with the whole Port Mafia in his bedroom. 

Gin: It's worse nowadays. 

Dazai: I'm so sorry Auktagawa, I don't know why I did any of that. 

me: shut up mf you dont have the right to speak right now. 

Chuuya: she's right mackerel, shut the fuck up. 

me: alright next person: MORI 

Mori: alright what? 

me: FIRST, you slit your former boss's throat to take over the Mafai, with Dazai as witness. Second, you're a fucking pedophile. Third, you literally fawn over Elise like as if she's your fucking granddaughter. Fourth, you taught Dazai his demonic ways from the Mafia. Fifth, you've given Dr. Yosano PTSD. There's much more that I can't even remember right now. 

Yosano: That's why I am so grateful to the Agency. They saved me from this moron. 

Elise: Rintarou once spent 3 hours trying to convince me to try on a green dress.