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Chapter Forty One

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Tanner

There are some experiences in your life that you can recall at the drop of a hat. Moments so vivid and fresh in your mind that you can close your eyes and, all of a sudden, you're right back in. Moments full of nostalgia and comfort. Moments that feel like home. Looking into your child's eyes for the first time. The smell of fresh cut grass at the start of high school football season. The leather of the steering wheel in your hands as you learn to drive your first truck. Your first kiss. Falling in love.

Zoe sits next to me, my flannel shirt draped over her shoulders as she dangles a marshmallow into the fire, and as I watch her, I know this is about to turn into one of those moments. The gentle curve of her rosy lips, sparkling stars in her eyes, her knee resting against mine as she gives Brooks a courtesy laugh for another one of his dumb jokes. The way she banters back and forth with my friends and so easily fits in will never get old. I'm the most relaxed I've been in a long time, and even though we're just hanging out at the beach with friends, tonight's been one of the most impactful moments of our relationship so far.

When I picked Zoe up, I was fully prepared for tonight to be miserable, because that's how it would have been in the past. Gwen and I could never bounce back from an argument and actually enjoy an evening like this. We'd be standoffish and passive aggressive the entire time, still both dead set that we were right and the other was wrong, and making everyone around us just as uncomfortable and miserable as we were.

I'll be the first to admit that I wasn't my best self with Gwen, and maybe that's why I'm so enthralled with Zoe. I don't just appreciate the way she handles things, but I appreciate the man she makes me. Instead of sinking into the screaming and yelling and toxicity, we had a calm, rational discussion and came out stronger for it, and it's almost like it never happened at all.

Everything about tonight has been perfect. The food, the fun, the friends. Having the most beautiful girl in the world on my arm. It almost feels too good to be true, but I know it isn't. Life with the right person really can be this sweet.

"Riggs, how is the nanny search going?" Coop's wife asks, and I try to focus on the conversation we're having, but I can hardly tear my eyes away from Zoe.

Riggs lets out a heavy breath, raking his fingers through his hair. The poor guy looks completely ragged and I know the last few weeks haven't been easy on him. Adjusting to a new baby is hard enough as it is, but doing it on your own with a full fledged little human is a whole different level. I think about the boys at that age, and can only imagine what he's going through.

"It's going." He says. "Tanner's mom has been helping out when I've had shifts, but I have to find a more permanent situation soon. I joined one of those nanny agencies and am just waiting on my application to be approved, so hopefully I'll hear something in the next week or so."

She nods. "It'll be good for Hallie to get into a consistent routine as soon as you can, too. I can't imagine all that poor little thing has gone through."

"Yeah," Riggs agrees. "She's pretty resilient, luckily. She still asks about her mom, but more about the two of us together, and that's not a story I'll probably get into until she's at least thirty." He chuckles.

"Well, you're doing a great thing for her, Riggs." Zoe echoes. "I'm always happy to help if you need anything."

"Thanks, Zoe. I'll keep it in mind."

The conversation turns and, at this point, I don't have the slightest clue what they're all talking about. Zoe continues to amaze me by jumping right in to help a guy she barely knows, and, like usual, I'm in awe of her compassion. How the hell did the universe bring her into my life? I'm almost scared to even have the thought in case it realizes it fucked up and everything starts to unravel.

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