Heartbeats Amid Fire

17 - Trouble

Alysa pov:

"I'm done sorting the documents, Sir Rayner," I said, placing a pile of sheets on his desk. I placed a paper weight on top of it to make sure the sheets didn't scatter from the breeze that came in through the window behind Sir Rayner's seat.

Sir Cian's gaze on me was hard to ignore, all the more because he was watching me in sheer displeasure like he always did. He was Sir Rayner's scribe, as he had been introduced, though had formerly been abused by serving at a pleasure house. It was no surprise that he hated humans with every fiber of his being because of what he had had to go through, and I had made no attempt to interact with him in fear of being hurt.

Quite surprisingly, working with Sir Rayner was not as bad as I had thought it would be. While I had been tense and nervous for the first few days of being around him during the mornings, I soon go used to it. It was odd that I had started to feel comfortable too, finding Sir Rayner's calm company pleasant. It often reminded me of the time he had lived with me in Amzell, though our roles had been reversed now. I was glad that he had not directed his anger to me even once after the last time that had caused me a panic attack – perhaps he knew of the repercussions and had been considerate enough to spare me from going through something like that again.

Sir Rayner was hardworking and suited the role of a leader. I could tell that he cared very much for his people as against the hostility and lack of mercy he had towards humans, though he was an overall rational person. He did not hurt humans for only sadistic satisfaction like several other Zeros I had seen, but did not spare them from harsh punishment for even small mistakes.

All said and done, his job as the leader of the Zeros was not easy. He was often exhausted by the end of the day, and even more when he had to go out to fight humans with his knights. I had to heal him every other day.

I knew I was being foolish but I couldn't help but worry about him a lot off late. Whether he had been pretending to be a nice person when in Amzell or it was a side that he truly had but refused to show now, it was no doubt that I cared for him more than I should. I had grown fond of him in the time I had known him and often missed him after he had left. The few brief meeting with him when he came to be healed with his men had made me happy and unexpectedly more affectionate of him. There was a part of me that wanted to be closer to him too, and to see him smile again as he had when he had teased me for missing him when he would leave. That smile had reached his eyes – it was genuine and wholehearted, and I had not seen such an expression on him even once since then.

"Put these books back," he said, breaking my train of thought. There was a huge pile of books on the floor beside him that he had used for reference since two days – it seemed that he was done with them.

"Alright," I agreed and proceeded to pick them up three at a time, step to the book shelf, and put them back in their places. I was done ten minutes later and waiting in front of Sir Rayner's desk for further instructions.

"Alysa," he said and I met his eyes. He was silent a moment, observing me while in deep thought. His eyes darkened for a moment and his body noticeably tensed. With a deep inhale and clenching his jaw, he said, "Cian, leave us for a minute."

His expression along with the fact that the two of us would be alone roused nervous queasiness in me. It had me thinking negatively. My heart beat had sped up and my body had tensed but I could do nothing but keep my eyes on the mahogany desk and mentally pray that nothing bad would happen.

Cian closed the door as he left and the air in the office was suddenly suffocating. I flinched slightly when Sir Rayner stood from his seat. He only stepped to the window to gaze out of it, leaving feeling mildly awkward. The silence that followed was awkward too and I was hoping that Sir Rayner would break it soon.