Mercedez 2: Blinding Lights

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I satisfy him. Lahat ng pagkukulang mo ay ako ang gumawa!

Lumalabo ang paningin ko dahil sa hindi nagpapapigil na mga luha. Tuloy tuloy ang agos no'n habang nagmamaneho ako.

I satisfy him. Lahat ng pagkukulang mo ay ako ang gumawa!

I continuously shook my head as Mariz words echoed inside my head again and again. Nangatal ang aking labi. Pati ang paghawak ko sa steering wheel ay napahigpit. Nanginginig ang mga daliri ko kaya hinigpitan ko pa ang kapit.

You don't satisfy me.

I started panting heavily as I continued to hear voices.

You don't satisfy me anymore, Gucci. The first time, sure. But... look at you?

Buntis si Mariz. May nangyari sa kanila ni Toni. Pero hindi totoo iyon.

The reality right now though... May anak si Roche sa ibang babae. Nauna sa akin na dumating sa buhay niya. She's the only one who can sate him. I don't satisfy him anymore. Ayaw niya sa mga anak namin.

Unti unting kumawala sa aking bibig ang mga hikbi. I was trembling so hard that I had to park at the side of the road to avoid a possible accident. Nilagpasan ako ng mga sasakyang nakasunod sa akin kanina. I broke down when the car went off.

I screamed all the pain and agony I was feeling but it was not enough to ease it. Panay hampas ako sa dibdib ko sa pag-aakalang gagaan iyon kahit kaunti pero mas lalo lamang nanuot ang sakit.

You don't satisfy me.

Was he all just after the sex then?! Is it really just about being sated?! Marriage is more than just that! We have... kids... Pero ayaw niya nga sa kanila! He said it!

I don't know...

So ano yung inaakto niya no'ng sa party? When we saw each other again after years? That night when he met the twin? What was that? I am so so confused!

But he already gave me his word kanina. That should be enough, right?

Bahala na kung ako yung naguguluhan, nasasaktan at magdurusa... mailayo ko lang ang mga anak ko sa kasakiman niya. Nila ng babae niya.

Sinikap kung kalmahin ang paghinga dahil nauubusan na ako ng hangin. My chest was so tight and my throat felt like choking.

I leaned my back on the back rest weakly. Napatingala ako sa sobrang pagod. Ilang sandali akong tulala hanggang sa unti unti na ring umayos at gumalaw.

I took my handkerchief from my handbag. I wiped my tears dry. Then I took some wet wipes and retouched my make up.

I still have a meeting to attend to. I have to look presentable enough as their boss, not as a miserable wife who got betrayed by her husband and brokenhearted because her kids were rejected by their own father.

I made sure there was no trace left about my wailing.

I took and deep breath and let it go. I did it repeatedly. It took me a while to calm down and when I did, I resumed driving.

It was five minutes to one in the afternoon when I arrived. Mabilis akong kumilos papasok. Buti nalang private yung elevator na ginagamit ko dahil mabilis lang akong nakarating sa conference room.

Everyone was already there when I arrived. Saktong ala una pa nang makapasok ako kaya, nahiya ako kay mommy. She was always early and to have a successor who is tardy is a shame.

Tinanguan ko silang lahat para magsiupuan. I then announced the start of the meeting.

Itinago kong mabuti ang pagkahingal ko dahil sa pagmamadali. Pasimple kong inabot ang bottled water at uminom.