ˢᵏʸˢᶜʳᵃᵖᵉʳ ✵ 9-1-1

Lost

"I'm sorry..."

Allison gasps awake, it had been a couple of weeks after Daniel's visit, and since then, Allison has been sleeping like absolute hell. The nightmares about Daria have been plaguing her mind even more since his visit. Allison keeps thinking to herself that she should've done more for Daria.

Then she would be alive...

Allison stifles a quiet sob that she didn't know she was holding. Allison shakes her head and takes a deep breath standing up from her bed and began walking to the bathroom to wash her face cleaning up the tears that dried up on her face. Allison then lets out a huge breath and dries her face and leaves the bathroom to go make herself some breakfast.

She gathered some ingredients for the meal, potatoes, eggs, red and green peppers, turkey sausage, onion, and cheddar cheese. She grabbed her skillet and started heating the pan. While the pan was heating, Allison lifted her laptop to see the screen and began chopping the onions, and peppers and dicing the potatoes. 

"I think you hear me, right, Daria?" Allison asked in the emptiness of her house while she looks around. "I know you would kick my ass for thinking about it, but-- what if we hadn't met Daniel and Matthew? Would you still be alive? Would something else have come and taken you away from me?"

Allison takes a breath and releases it while the computer chimed, she looked over her shoulder seeing a message from her father. Her bio-father. How he ended up finding her is beyond her. Maybe her mom decided to contact him? She was unsure, she took the mouse and deleted the message.

It was probably either wanting to meet up or he wanted money. That's all she was good for any way at least with her family.

Allison while she was cooking decided to check emails and saw none from the Fire Marshal and the Police Sergeant, meaning she didn't have work today that they needed. But-- it looked like she had a couple of clients that needed some confirmation for appointments. Opening one up seeing that it was Eddie and Christopher, she rolled her eyes and confirmed the appointment, the other appointment was with a woman named Bella and her family of her husband and daughter. 

A smile graced her lips a bit while she emailed the woman the details and the pricing. After sending it, Allison turns around and stirs the ingredients and begins putting them onto a plate, then goes to the island and begins slowly eating her food.

"I should've saved you..."

Allison gasps again when the voice in her head echoes those words and she breaks the plate and startles her. Allison looks down seeing the shattered pieces of the plate on the floor, took a deep breath, and then exhaled it slowly, she then puts her elbows on the counter and puts her face into her hands, and began crying.

"I couldn't save you..." Allison sobs quietly. "You were always there for me, and I couldn't even save you..."

After gathering her thoughts, Allison sniffs and then bent down beginning to pick up the pieces of the plate making sure she didn't cut herself. Before she could finish, someone knocked on the door, she then throws away the pieces carefully and walks to the door looking through the peephole and seeing Eddie and Christopher. She doesn't see Buck behind them. She unlocks the door and smiles at Christopher. 

"Hey buddy," Christopher walks into her arms and she hugs him. "What are you both doing here?"

"It's our daily brunch, Ali," Eddie spoke as he walked in.

"Oh, right..." Allison whispers and goes back into the kitchen to clean up her mess. "I guess um... I guess I lost track of time..."

"It's alright," Eddie smiles seeing her cleaning. "Why don't I cook this time"

Allison pauses her cleaning and looks back to Eddie with a look on her face. "Eddie, you, Christopher, and I all know you can't cook." Eddie looked 'offended' and placed a hand over his heart. "Don't give me that, pick something, and then I'll cook it."

"Oh, fine," Eddie pouted a little bit and then thinks a moment. "How about Chicken Street Tacos and Grilled Onion." 

"That sounds good," Allison nods as does Christopher. "I'll get right on that."

I always blamed myself for Daria's death, ever since that night. I couldn't shake the feeling it was all my fault. Everyone around me can tell me it's not.

Eddie touches her shoulder when she stops doing what she's doing and looks at him. "You're doing awesome, Hermana, don't forget that. And remember-- you know it's not your fault."

I don't believe it. This illusion I've built is the one keeping me sane, but I know it's the confusion of the thoughts plaguing my mind. Daria... I have to ask, do you blame me for it?

Allison exhales quietly and then smiles. "You're right," A façade. "I know it's not my fault." A lie and they all know it. Eddie squeezes her shoulder knowing she was lying. But he knew not to press very hard. Eddie then walks to his son and begins talking to him. "Where's Buck?"

"He's running late, he'll be here soon."

Allison nods with an inward smile on her face. There was something about Buck that made Allison comfortable with herself and made her feel-- complete. Allison continues making the food when someone knocked on the door.

Eddie gets up and looks through the peephole and smiles opening the door and Buck walks in holding some drinks.

"I brought drinks as an apology for being late," Allison chuckles a bit and nods.

"Thanks for being here anyway."

Buck smiles at her even though she couldn't see as she was still cooking. "You're welcome."

I'm lost in these memories, living behind my own illusion. Lost in my dignity, living inside my own confusion...