Alternate Dream Part 2

7. Confessions

They walked in silence for much of the day.  Pea would turn to look at every animal, bird, or insect that made a noise, but asked no questions. Both seemed content with simply enjoying their surroundings.

Hezron was doing a lot of inner thought, much of which was on the same subject he'd been reflecting on these past two weeks. But he also thought of his new travel companion. How would he have handled this same situation a month ago? He scrunched his face in frustration. He knew how he'd handled it. The same way he'd reacted when Xander had shown him Nina in the cot.  He frowned and let out a deep sigh. 

He glanced at Pea. She had heard it and gave him a small,  comforting smile before looking away. She was purposely giving him space to work on his thoughts. Here she was in a strange place surrounded by strange men, which had to be at least a bit concerning for her, and she was continuously taking care of others. He smiled at the thought of last night. Of her joy at preparing a meal for men she hadn't even met yet. He had insisted she stay in the cabin while he spoke to the men first.  He wasn't sure which men were coming and what their reactions would be. He was glad they all seemed to be doing well around her, he sensed no ill will from them.

In fact, after she cooked for them, served them, spent time with them, and even cleaned up after them, they were all looking at her like she was a prize to be worshiped. Just like any other Capitol woman was treated. Hope blossomed within him, that he hadn't led his men astray too far, but then Hezron's smile fell and he scowled. Last night, he could tell Aaron was close to crossing the line with her. He had run his fingers through her hair when she leaned to get Phelan's bowl beside him, his hands practically brushing her leg as she walked by. He watched Pea carefully the rest of the evening, and only when she was inside the station did he leave to confront Aaron. Even then, standing where he could watch the entrance. He concluded his lecture by telling Aaron he would be taking his place at the station, and to spend his time there reflecting on his actions and how to treat a woman with respect.

But even still, what kept him awake most of last night was how Pea didn't even seem to notice the man's actions toward her. So he had decided he couldn't trust her to travel with anyone but him. He wouldn't forgive himself if another woman was attacked, the way Nina was. He closed his eyes and let out a grunt.

"Hey." Pea put her hand on his shoulder. "You ok?"

He looked up at her and cleared his throat. "We should take a break,"  he turned and tied the horse to a tree limb. "I'll be right back. Look through the packs and find us something to eat.... Please." He glanced at her, only to quickly revert his eyes to the woods. He couldn't handle that look of concern she gave him. He didn't deserve her concern. When she found out what happened to her sister she'd hate him just like Nina did.  Just like he hated himself.

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"I take it you and your sister are very close?"

"Oh, yeah." Nina nodded and smiled. "It's pretty much just been me and her since she was 12. And before that, it was just us and Dad for years. Poor guy in a house of girls, didn't have a chance!" Pea laughed. "He loved it though." She sighed, happily. 

They had set up camp for the night, ate supper, and were just relaxing by the fire. She had just shared a story of when she went to find Nina after she'd 'ran away' at the age of 7, only to find her in their backyard, asleep behind a tree. 

"And your mother?" Peas smile slowly faded and he added "I apologize, I shouldn't have pried. You don't need to talk about it."

"No, it's ok. Mom was never very mentally present, even when she was physically there, you know? She worked, came home, cooked meals, cleaned, attended school functions, everything that would be expected of her.  But she never truly spent time bonding with us, like... we were a responsibility but not a want." Pea sighed heavily and watched the fire. "Dad had shown me tons of love and affection." She blushed and looked away for a moment before looking back over at him. "He's the one who nick named me Sweet Pea, actually." She chuckled. "I obviously didn't want everyone calling me that, it was out special thing, between father and daughter. But despite our bond, I still felt a hole, feeling rejected by my own mother.  When Nina was born, I was so happy, I loved her immediately. Our mother treated her the same way she did me, but I made sure I showed this precious child all the love I'd been missing. She brought so much joy into my life." She picked up a stick and threw it at the flames. "She couldn't really say my name so Dad taught her to call me Pea. I always hated my full name, anyway, so... it stuck." She shrugged and then sighed.