the delicate balance (of me and you) | tsireya x y/n

Remembering (chapter twenty two)

It's dark, the shadows of the mangroves hovering over you as you sit still. Your legs dangle off the edge of the cliff where you and Tsireya first kissed; you're waiting for her. You still can't be open with your relationship because her parents don't know, so you have to sneak out to see her sometimes. You sigh, tipping your head back to look at the dark clouds covering the stars, feeling the sea breeze brush over your face. You swing your legs as you wait patiently, happy to sit in silence until Tsireya arrives. As you lean back to lie down, you hear quiet footsteps approaching. Tsireya.

You stay lying down, looking up as she leans over you, smiling. 'Hey,' she murmurs. 'Hey,' you reply, your mouth curving into a matching smile. She lies down next to you, her legs dangling off the cliff next to yours, slipping her hand into yours. You turn your head to the side, looking at her eyes, which sparkle with the reflections of the stars. She turns to meet your gaze, and smiles gently. 'You look so pretty,' she says, and you blush. 'Says you.' She grins, and leans forward to kiss you delicately. Your mouths meet, and she reaches her arm over to brush your hair out of the way. 'This is uncomfortable,' she mutters into your mouth, rolling over so that she's on top of you instead of lying next to you. Your breath hitches in your chest as she leans over you, kissing you harder now. 

You reach up, your hands in her hair as you pull her against you. You slip your other hand down to cup her hip gently, and she gasps into your mouth as your skin makes contact with hers. You kiss her deeply, and groan as she pulls away, gasping. 'Sorry,' she says, her voice breaking a little. 'No, no,' you say quickly. 'Don't worry.' Your face is flushed as you sit upright, trying to meet her gaze. She avoids your eyes, though, looking at the ground. You frown, reaching over to lightly lift her chin. 'Reya,' you say, surprised at the tears in her eyes. She looks away from you, sniffling as she wipes her tears. 'Sorry,' she says again, and you feel guilt pool in your stomach. 'Stop apologising,' you says sternly. 'You have nothing to apologise for.' 'Yeah, but I do,' she whispers, still avoiding your eyes. You scoff. 'Like what?' 'If I was braver, then I would tell my parents,' she says honestly, looking up to you. 'But I'm not. And I feel uncomfortable doing anything without them knowing, so I'm holding our relationship back.' 

Your eyes widen. She's fully crying now, tears running down her face. 'Reya,' you murmur, moving forwards to hug her. She tenses, but quickly relaxes into the hug, her head resting on your shoulder as she cries. You stroke her head, murmuring soothing things to her as she calms down. 'Sorry,' she whispers again, lifting her head from your shoulder. 'Stop saying that,' you say, and she nods. 'I'll try.' 'You're not holding our relationship back,' you say, pulling her away so you can look in her eyes, your hands on her shoulders. 'Don't feel bad at all. After all, we're still so young.' 'I guess,' she says, but you can tell she's unconvinced. You decide to change the subject, as this one's clearly a sore spot for her. 'Hey, Reya. Would you come with me to the cove of ancestors tomorrow?' you ask. 'Sure,' she says, confused. 'Why?' 'I just don't want to go alone,' you say, with a wry smile. She nods. 'Okay.'

As you walk back to the village, you spot Aonung and Neteyam lying on the beach together. Neteyam's pointing at a star in the sky, and Aonung's saying something you can't hear. 'Look,' you say to Tsireya, pointing. She rolls her eyes. 'They've clearly made up. Neteyam deserves better.' You giggle. 'Really? Poor Aonung. He's your brother, after all.' She looks at you pointedly. 'That doesn't mean he's not an asshole.' You laugh, shaking your head. 'That's so mean.' 'Come on, you know it's true,' she says, poking you in the ribs as you giggle. 'Stop it,' you say, shoving her lightly as she laughs. 'Shhhh,' you whisper,' grabbing her hand and leading her forwards. Then you're outside the Sully's house, and you smile as she pulls you in to kiss you goodbye. You wave silently as you step inside. You tiptoe around sleeping bodies, and grin at the sight of Neteyam's empty bed. As you lie down, you think about your father. And as you fall asleep, your silent tears soak into your pillow. However lucky you are, you won't stop mourning him.

* * *

You hold on tight to Alo'oa as he flips upside down, your hair streaming back as you grin at Tsireya on her own ilu. She grins back, pulling her ilu upwards to leap out of the water. You follow her lead, twisting so Alo'oa's the right way up and leaping out of the water with him. You watch Tsireya fall back into the water in a splash, admiring how she manages to make even that look graceful. Soon, you're at the cove of ancestors, and you sit upright on Alo'oa. You share a glance with Tsireya, both of your moods becoming somber. 

You slip off of Alo'oa, and take a deep breath before slowly swimming down to the spirit tree. It glows in response to your presence, and you take a long strand in your hand. You watch as Tsireya does the same. Then, you both attach your queues at the same time, and you close your eyes as you listen to the whispers for a second. Suddenly, you're somewhere else. You open your eyes, unsurprised to see that you're at the village. You look down at yourself, and see your small hands. This is me when I was younger, you realise. And then you turn and he's there. 'Dad,' you whisper, your voice breaking as tears form in your eyes. 'Whoa, whoa,' he says, stopping suddenly, and you see that he's slightly blurry around the edges. He's not real, you remind yourself, and the crippling sadness hits you like a brick as you fall to your knees. And then he's next to you, his hand on your shoulder, and you feel it there. And you're comforted.

You look up at him, smiling through your tears. 'What's wrong?' he asks, concerned, and you shake your head. 'Nothing.' 'Okay,' he says, his eyes searching your face. You meet his eyes with a sad smile. 'I love you,' you whisper, and then everything blends into darkness. And he's gone again.