the delicate balance (of me and you) | tsireya x y/n

Reunion (chapter ten)

notes: there are some references to the first chapter in this one, so if anything doesnt make sense its probably from context in the first chapter :)

You glide through the water, your hair streaming over your shoulders, grinning as you dodge through long luscious locks of seaweed reaching towards the surface. Alo'oa twists effortlessly, and you hold on tight as your legs flow around his body. Now you're both upside down, and you blow bubbles, watching how fast you leave them behind. You stare up at the sky, distorted by the water. Straighten out, you think to Alo'oa, guiding him delicately past every rock, piece of coral, and obstacle in your way. Finally, you see the seawall terrace where training is, and let go of Alo'oa, using your momentum to glide up to it. You stand up, and begrudgingly traipse out of the water, flipping your dripping hair back over your shoulders. You survey the group, and see Lo'ak, Neteyam, Kiri, and Tuk. Unsurprisingly, Aonung hasn't come back, leaving the training in your hands yet again. Good, you think. I hope he gets in trouble because of this. Then, you see someone on the outskirts of the group; sitting alone. She's facing away from you, looking out to sea. Tsireya. 

The group parts soundlessly as you walk up to her, grabbing her shoulders and turning her to face you. At this point, all of them but Tuk know about your relationship. 'Tsireya - I thought that I'd never be allowed to say a word to you ever again. I missed you,' you say, smiling through a haze of tears. She says nothing, only turning her face away to avoid your eyes. You frown, trying to meet her eyes. She keeps turning away from you, and you see a single glistening teardrop fall from her ocean blue eyes and roll down her face. 'Reya?' you ask quietly. She only looks at the ground, staying silent. 'Reya, just say something. Please,' you beg desperately, your voice breaking, your tears no longer happy. She stands up, and opens her mouth, about to say something. You stare into her eyes as she closes her mouth and her expression hardens. And you feel your heart shatter like glass as she turns away from you, walking away. Leaving you behind.

What you don't see, but the others do, is how the teardrops filling her eyes overflow the second she turns away from you. And how her hands shake as she grabs ahold of Ikeyni, and how she clasps a particular bone on her necklace close to her heart as she steps into the water and rides away. The fishbone that you gave her for good luck from the fish that you caught that day, so many years ago, when the days were golden and you were both truly free.

* * *

You lean against the cliff face from your rock, where just two days earlier you thought you had no tears left to cry. And you sob, and sob, and sob. And this time the tears don't run dry. At some point, you're not sure when (you're mentally incapable of keeping track of time at this point), Kiri arrives. You're not sure how she found you, until she whispers, 'you have to be silent, y/n,' and you realise you were wailing out loud to the sea and the sky, lamenting your loss of Tsireya, your childhood best friend and now lover. And then Kiri's holding you close again, and tenderly stroking your head. And you realise that she's more of a sister to you than anyone you've ever known. And at last, you lay your head on her lap until the tears finally slow. 

'Come on, y/n. Let's get you home, it's late,' Kiri murmurs soothingly. 'No, please,' you mumble, pressing yourself against the cliff face like it holds the secret to the happiness you felt when you were pressed up against it with Tsireya. 'Ugh, y/n, please,' Kiri groans, pulling you away from it. Dazedly, you watch your fingers as they're dragged away from the rock face, and suddenly come to your senses. 'Kiri, I'm sorry,' you mutter, hanging your head in shame as more tears collect in your eyes. 'No, don't be sorry,' she whispers gently. 'Just come on. You need to sleep.' You obey, stumbling as you step down the rocks. Kiri holds your hand and catches you every time you trip. I don't know what I'd do without her, you think wearily. Finally, you reach the bottom, and trudge wearily down the village paths as Kiri fusses over you. 

And then there's Tsireya, leaning against a hut, watching the sun's final glimmer over the sea as it sets. You stop dead in your tracks. Kiri looks up, and seeing Tsireya, tries to drag you away. 'Let's go,' she mutters, tugging your arm. But you push her hand away, your eyes on Tsireya as you stand completely still. Tsireya looks over at you with pain in her eyes, and you stand shellshocked as you see the sun reflect off of the tears that are soaking her face. 'Reya?' you ask steadily. She tears her gaze from yours, and goes to walk away. But this time, you're not having it. 'Y/n!' Kiri says loudly as you rip yourself from her grip and walk purposefully over to Tsireya. You grab her shoulders and stare into directly into her eyes, searching them.

'What's happening? Why are you doing this? Please, Reya, all I want is answers,' you say as she looks at the ground, her fists clenched. 'I - I can't, y/n,' she breathes, her voice cracking, tear-stricken. 'But why not? I don't understand, please,' you say in anguish, your grip like iron as she struggles to escape. Suddenly, you realise what you're doing, and release your grip on her arms. 'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry,' you sob, turning away from her. She looks down at the red welts on her arms from your grip silently. I don't deserve her. That's why she's doing this, and she's right, you think hopelessly. 

'Wait,' she says, just as you go to walk away with Kiri. Her tears are overflowing as she stands upright, her eyes meeting yours pleadingly. 'The reason I can't see you, or spend time with you, or talk to you...' she starts, pausing as she sniffles and wipes a tear from her cheek. You're focused now, and wait in silence for her to continue. Kiri watches from the shadows, hushed, her eyes wide. 'The reason is... that if I did, then I would never be allowed to again,' she finishes with a sob, before turning to run away into the night. Slowly, you turn to Kiri, and see on her face a shocked expression identical to yours. All you can do is think, what the fuck am I going to do? as you hug Kiri numbly. She waves goodbye to you at your hut, and as she leaves, you look up at the sky, at the dazzling blanket of stars. The same stars that you and Tsireya once kissed under, when you were happy.