REMINISCENT

CHAPTER NINETEEN: So That's Your Story (EDITED)

Ashley's POV
"Wow... i can't believe you went through all that"he hugged me yet i didn't shade a single tear

We stayed like that for some time until he slowly let go. I gave him a sad smile and he squeezed my shoulders

"It all makes sense now. Why you don't drive, why you didn't enter the car and any car now that i think of it. Why you pretend you hate him. Why you don't or rarely talk to him, your bad moods... it all makes sense" he said with a dry laugh shaking his head. "No one can even think that's why"

"Yeah" i whispered staring at my trembling hands

"I never thought you and Aiden went through all that. No wonder the only time we met again was during therapy after a long time of him just disappearing off the surface of the earth. I can't believe he never even knew that's the kinda accident he went through" he smiled sadly at the memory with tears pricking his eyes or maybe it was just the light bouncing off them.

I looked at him obviously curious and confused by what he said "what do you mean we?" I took hold of his hand to gain his attention

"You know we should be grateful he is alive. He just has to remember" he faced me but avoided my eyes, mindlessly playing with my fingers

"What? Yeah but what do you mean we? What are you talking about? Why were you going for therapy?" I shot all my questions at once

He shook his head still trying to hold back his tears but a traitorous tear slipped out. I quickly reached to wipe it off his cheek. In that moment, i wished i could wipe off the pain evident in his eyes

"I just wish she was alive even if she has memory loss" his voice cracked and my heart clenched

"J-jake, did you... lose the love of your life?" I choked with tears threatening to pour out

"No.. i have my own fucked up life but it has nothing to do with a lover" he started and i remained silent with my hand still in his letting him know I'm here for him "when i was 11, my mom was diagnosed with Cancer. I didn't quite understand the depth of the illness but i knew she was sick, so i spent every single time i could next to her."

He continued playing with my fingers, still not meeting my eyes "she got worse when i turned 13, she stopped going for work, i stopped going on holidays. I took good care of her while she was at the hospital, well at least i think i did. My brothers tried their best they could to be there for her too."

"I think 3 years had passed and she got even more worse. I guess the treatment wasn't working the way we thought, they were good days but the were also bad. She started looking different, my grades dropped real bad and i got depressed but i tried my best to stay happy around her. Even in her state she smiled brightly and always forced me to live and have fun. As months went by she got worse and she was in constant pain, i prayed that she'd be peaceful even if its for a little while.."

He started shaking, he wasn't crying but the hurt could be heard in his voice. I tried really hard to hold my tears in " i knew the only way she'd be peaceful is if she died. Everyday I'd tell her how much i loved her, that I was really proud of her and i would never wish for another mom. On her last day.... she said a lot. She told me to be happy, to graduate, to find a girlfriend and get married and have children. Everything a mother would ever want for her kids, but most of all, she told me never to soak, never to dwell in the past because there's a reason for a season, that they are never permanent, they come and they go and i just have to adjust"

He finally looked into my eyes "on that day i could tell she was tired of fighting, i knew she was only holding on because of me, for me. I definitely knew that i wanted her pain to go away... so i let her go. I told her to go and find peace and that I'd be strong for dad. She weakly smiled at me and said 'my strong baby boy'. I smiled back at her before the heart monitor flat lined. I stared at her lifeless body without a single tear staining my cheeks, my small smile was frozen on my face but my heart cried out in pain while the nurses and doctors rushed in and tried to save her"