Eri finds out, so everyone finds out, and so you can feel safe

A Swirling Despair

A/N: Hi! So it's been a while since I have posted anything for this but I'm back! Sorry, it's been so long since my last update! Thank you to everyone who is still reading this besides the long waits between updates! Also thank you to everyone who has a left me comments on this, it means a lot to me!
I hope you enjoy! Also midoriya is very sad in this chapter and kind of breaks down so read at your own risk.

Aizawa-sensei had left him alone on the couch where the discussion had taken place saying that he could stay for as long as he needed. Midoriya felt like he could spend all of eternity on the couch crying but eventually found his tears drying out. Still he decided to keep his face buried in the couch for a while longer just incase another round of tears were to come crashing down. In the end no more tears arrived, probably having all already used up from the previous crying fits.

His face felt icky from the tears and snot, luckily Aizawa had shown him the location of the closest bathroom and handed him a face towel before leaving him alone earlier saying that he could also go in the bathroom if needed.

He ignored the numbness in his limbs and walked over to the bathroom locking the door behind him.

Midoriya made his way over to the sink and spent a good few minutes staring at his reflection. He had to have mind traced over every part of his face a hundred times before he finally started making and effort to clean the snot and tears.

Midoriya turned the faucet on and listened to the familiar sound of the rushing stream that came out of it. He practically dunked his whole face in water before scrubbing it to death- something that he was sure that many of the girls in his class would protest against as being improper skin care. He repeated the face scrubbing process a few more times without care while adding in an additional step for soap.

Finally, after his face started to tingle he stopped and chose to instead go back to staring at his reflection. Besides all the scrubbing he had done it was still obvious that he had been crying. What hurt worse than the tingling of his face was the features he shared with his mom staring back at him and the realization that it might be the last thing they ever share now that she wanted nothing to do with him.

Midoriya tried repeating Aizawa-sensei's speech about it not being his fault but his mind was working against him. No matter how hard he tried to push the negative thoughts away they came crawling back up like vomit that was already too far up to stop.

He tried one last time to push past the colossal tidal wave of negative thoughts but quickly found himself being pulled under the salty water.

He couldn't stop thinking that maybe it was all his fault, maybe he did something wrong. There's no way that it could only be his moms personal issue's at fault. Even if she did have some kind of personal issue, he probably only made it ten times worse for her. Was she just trying to spare him from the truth? Or maybe his teachers knew and didn't want to tell him?

The feelings inside him were too confusing to decipher and made it too hard to come to a solid conclusion.

He knew he felt angry, but at what? His mom for leaving him alone? His teachers? The situation? Maybe even at himself.

He knew part of his heart was filled with deep grief over his mom leaving but the situation was so complicated he could not even solve the feeling brokenness the situation left him, not in his current mood.

There was some weird twisted feeling inside of him that was giving him a rush to just do something, something against his tired bodies wishes. The feeling almost felt like anxiety but was so far twisted into the other emotions that he couldn't be sure.

There was other emotions he was feeling too, feelings he couldn't name. Something about not being able to tell what he was feeling made it worse. He knew his heart felt both heavy and broken at the same time but couldn't tell what was causing what. Without knowing what caused it how would he know how to fix the feeling? The feelings that were so confusing that he couldn't decide if he wanted to cry or burst into hysterical laughter.

He knew one thing though, no matter what Aizawa-sensei demanded of him he had to help his mom. He owed his mom that much from all the pain he's put her through throughout the years.

But would it really be helping her to go see her? Not only would everyone try to keep him away from her but maybe it's not what his mom needed. The thought of that being even slightly correct broke something inside him.

Did his mom need to be away from him to heal? Would seeing her right now make it worse? Would it ruin his chances of ever seeing her again?

Eventually it became too painful to look in the mirror and after a few seconds he managed to snap his head away, immediately making the bad thoughts come to a stop. Instead his mind was left in a blank daze, something he much rather preferred in the moment.

He waited for the thoughts to creep their way back in but nothing came. In fact nothing came to his mind at all, he felt so disconnected from his own body and mind. It was a weird feeling, almost like he wasn't thinking while so obviously thinking about not thinking but perhaps the feeling wasn't that bad. He wasn't sure how to feel about the whole thing.

Midoriya felt like he was hovering slightly out of his body or perhaps like he was in a strangers skin. He tried to come up with an opinion if he enjoyed or hated the sensation but he could not tell. It was definitely better than the crushing waves of unknown emotion but at the same time almost worse.

A knock from the door took his attention away from his thoughts.

"Hey, are you okay in there?" He recognized that voice as one of his other teachers, Present Mic.

Midoriya knew that it would be polite of him to respond but found his mouth not wanting to open. Something from inside his chest was pulling at everything in his mouth keeping a tight grip begging him not to speak. It was almost too easy to listen to so instead he made his way over to the door and nodded his head once his teacher came into view.

Present Mic let out a gentle, "Alright." before explaining that Aizawa sent him to collect Midoriya and bring him back to the dorms to rest.

"He felt like you should have a break before discussing anything more so take a little break... And don't worry little listener we'll figure things out." Present Mic explained while closing the door to the familiar guest room in the teachers dorm.

It seems like it was decided for him that he was to wait in the room to rest but sleep felt nearly impossible so he chose to lay back in the bed and stare back and forth between different objects in the room. All he could hope for was that sleep would take hold of him sooner than later.

A/N: Thank You so much for reading! I hope you liked this chapter! Thank you to everyone who liked and/or commented on this. Hopefully the next chapter will be out sooner than I got this one out! Till next time!