Sonder

Inerreta

inerrata/in–eh-rah-tuh/ * noun

A kind of mistake you wouldn't take back even if you could. The reluctance to disown a broken relationship or agonizing experience that has since become a part of who you are and trying to disown it would mean you're trying to live some other life.

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"

I fucking hate warm weather," Shinsou murmured, clenching his eyes shut and leaning his cheek against his coffee table.

Kaminari tisked, by far the most annoyed he'd been with Shinsou since they'd started to really get to know one another. "I'm sure that's the only problem you have right now," he said, tapping his foot against the dirty floor, arms crossed over his chest; he looked like that meme'd mom Shinsou saw on the internet once a few months back, or the last time he'd checked his phone - aside from answering Kaminari's calls - fuck knows how long ago that was. "Hitoshi, I get that you're going through some shit, and I absolutely love being your go to bestie when you're in a pickle, but baby, I can only stand being puked on so many times."

Shinsou winced, both in sympathy for the blond and the terrible accident they'd had - which included Shinsou, drunk out of his mind again, stumbling around the streets in a stupor with Kaminari desperately clinging onto him trying to keep them both up, and then he'd jerked them both to a stop to puke. At first it landed on their feet and pants legs, then somehow Kaminari's shirt, and it was hard to forget the look on the blond's face - and opened his eyes to hopefully give the blond his best pitying look.

"I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you, I promise," Shinsou slurred, still at least somewhat drunk, eyes squeezed shut again to hopefully stop the world from spinning; it was nauseating.

"Toshi," Kaminari said softly, his tone unbearably sad, so much so that Shinsou couldn't resist opening his eyes to look at the blond, surprised to see he'd crouched down in front of Shinsou to touch his forehead. He flinched a bit in surprise, but leaned into the blond's cool touch a moment later. "You know how you can make it up to me?" Kaminari asked, and Shinsou was so completely enthralled by the blond, something in his eyes made him look suspiciously close to crying again, but Shinsou desperately hoped it was only a trick of the light. He didn't think he could have a repeat of earlier. He shook his head slowly to answer the blond, sitting up a bit more so he wouldn't lean too much on his fragile coffee table. "You can make it up to me by, hmmm, let's see..." He trailed off deliberately, tapping his lower lip with a finger. Shinsou focused on those plump lips, even when the blond pulled his finger away. "By taking care of yourself."

That snapped Shinsou out of his weird trance and right into confusion. "What?" He asked and wrinkled his nose.

Kaminari had this odd little smile on his face, like he was trying to restrain himself from doing something, and for a moment Shinsou worried he'd done something wrong again. "I just want you to feel better. About everything," he said the last bit very pointedly with an exaggerated look. Shinsou tilted his head a bit, confused, because he understood that Kaminari would want him to feel better now, seeing as he had one raging hangover - somehow while still being drunk - and the blond was all too aware of his recently developed battle with alcohol intake, so maybe that, but what else? Oh wait, he thought, flashes of memory of their conversation in Shindo's room reminding him that this wasn't the first time they're having this conversation today, or ever, really "I...would very much like to see you taking your first steps into healing from your loss," Kaminari continued.

Oh. Well fuck, that wasn't very fair at all. "Listen, Kami, I know you're just trying to help, and I appreciate it a lot, but that isn't really what I need right now," Shinsou said with a sigh, because fuck his earlier thoughts, dragging his hand over his forehead, covered in sweat and matting his bangs. He needed to wash his hair, his scalp was itching and there was so much oil in the strands he swore he could start a restaurant with it. Disgusting thought, no.