Sonder

Falesia

falesia/fuh-lee-zuh/ * noun

The disquieting awareness that someone's importance to you and your importance to them may not necessarily match - that your best friend might only think of you as a buddy, that someone you barely know might consider you a mentor, that someone you love unconditionally might have one or two conditions.

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"Shinsou! Just in time, can you grab those boxes for me, please?" Hawks asked, jerking his chin in the direction of two boxes sitting innocently on the floor, his arms already held the other two.

"Sure," Shinsou muttered, and bent down to grab them.

They were a lot heavier than he'd expected, and a glance inside the open lid of the top box told him why. A bunch of loose papers, a few books and glass jars sat innocently inside, but the teen felt his anxiety spike, worried about losing some papers, or even dropping the box and shattering the glass. Hawks led the way, greeting the last few students still milling about after school on their way. Shinsou stayed quiet, not wanting any attention as he focused all his energy on keeping a tight hold on the boxes and not losing his balance or somehow tripping over thin air.

"Alright, just drop them over there," Hawks said and nodded his head to the massive, empty desk near the front of the classroom.

Shinsou grunted as he hefted the heavy boxes onto the desk, sighing in relief. "What are these even for?" He asked, somewhat curious.

Hawks slid the door shut with his foot before joining the teen. "They needed to be sorted and I offered since I didn't have anything better to do," he explained, sifting through Shinsou's top box. "Old textbooks and tests they printed too much of at some point. The jars, well, I don't really know."

"That sounds tiring," Shinsou said and sighed and rubbed a hand down his face before he finally took note of their surroundings, nose wrinkling. "And this place really needs to be cleaned, why is it so dusty?" He asked, running a finger over the desk and watching as he traced a clean line through a layer of dust.

"No one uses this room anymore. It's something like a storage room now," Hawks said, watching him with an intensity that made the back of his neck itch.

Shinsou pretended not to notice and let his eyes wander. The windows to the hall were covered by tables and stacked chairs, old posters stuck to the glass blocking any sight from either side. The teenager couldn't help but wonder how many couples had snuck in here for a quick make out session or whatever else it was couples did together when they were alone.

"Seems hazardous," Shinsou mumbled, tensing when Hawks straightened his spine and took a step closer.

"Then I guess it's a good thing no one really comes here," Hawks said as he backed the teen into the wall, eyes dark in the dim light of the room. "Say Shinsou, could I ask you something personal?"

The teen hesitated, but nodded. "Sure?"

"Do you find me attractive?"

The silence was deafening as Shinsou tried to wrap his mind around the question. "What?" He whispered, swallowing thickly, trying to ignore the way his heart dropped as an odd smile spread across his teacher's lips.

"Do you find me attractive?" Hawks repeated and closed more distance, until there was less than a foot of space between them. "Be honest with me, please."

Shinsou's mind raced as he thought, pressing himself further into the wall. He didn't know how he should react in a situation like this. Should he just shove his way past the older man and run from the room, or should he wait and see what would happen if he did end up answering honestly. The truth was that yes, he did find Hawks attractive, even liked the personality the man had shown him, but wasn't it morally wrong to have romantic feelings for your teacher? He sucked in a sharp breath when Hawks stepped closer and put a hand on his cheek, staring quite deeply into his eyes as he waited for a sincere reply.