Sonder

Nachlophobia

nachlophobia/nok-luh-foh-bee-uh/ * noun

The fear that your deepest connections with people are ultimately pretty shallow - that although you consider them close, you refuse to let them see the 'real' you due to fear of losing them after you express your fears, hopes, or love to them.

______________

CONTENT WARNING 

Drug and alcohol abuse, sex under the influence, choking, there's a scene when Shinsou's made to throw up

______________________________________

Shinsou made a mental note to never, ever, trust another word that came out of Monoma's mouth. In fact, the next time he saw him, he would slap that boy's bitch mouth for lying to him so blatantly. The audacity he had, staring Shinsou right in the eyes while he spewed his bullshit. He should have known better, though, the grin and maniacal little glint in his friend's eyes should have told him not to believe a word, yet here he stood.

"There aren't going to be that many people," Monoma said. "It's going to be fun," he said.

Well, fuck you, Monoma, because not only was this not fun, there were a fuck ton of people, too. The kitchen, arguably the least populated room in the house, stank of alcohol and something sickly sweet and was that vomit? Shinsou winced as he watched some poor, drunken idiot dance into the room, cheering loudly to his friends, only to slip and fall in said vomit. He pulled a half empty bottle of whiskey down with him, and while the bottle didn't break, it sure did its best attempt at breaking the guy's forehead. He had shitty friends, too, they all burst out into loud laughter before turning away from the guy, leaving him half conscious, bleeding, in a pool of someone else's vomit. If Shinsou wasn't so queasy, he would have gone to help the guy up, but well, Shinsou considered himself allergic to most strangers.

Speaking of strangers, there was one staring at him from across the room, near the front door, if Shinsou wasn't mistaken, squinting through the mess of bodies, smoke and darkness across the open plan kitchen into the living room. He couldn't be too sure, though, except that he was pretty confident the stranger was a guy. Then again, most of the party goers here were men- did Monoma bring him to some kind of gay party in the hopes of getting him laid? It wouldn't be the first time his blond friend had attempted to do this, and the thought filled him with a unique feeling of anger mixed with frustration. Monoma was under the impression that Shinsou was still a virgin, and it wasn't exactly the blond's fault, because Shinsou never told anyone about Hawks, nor did he ever exert any effort to correct his friend. It shouldn't be any of his business, though.

With a deep sigh, Shinsou drowned the contents of his plastic cup, some disgustingly sweet thing someone had thrust into his hand nearly thirty minutes ago, and decided he'd have one more drink before he went home. Crowds were never really his thing. Fuck, he should have said yes to Midoriya's offer to study together. Well, the saying goes, regret is a good thing, but always comes too late. Or something like that. Shinsou didn't know, but he swore he could feel his brain cells dying with every mouthful of alcohol that did nothing but leave an odd layer over his tongue and teeth and made his head dizzy. He didn't really see the appeal.

"Hey, gorgeous," a deep, slightly raspy voice said right next to his ear, followed by a chuckle when Shinsou flinched hard at the suddenness of it all. Fuck, it should be illegal to just approach people. "Ah, sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

Finished glaring at the alcohol now spilled onto his hand, Shinsou decided it was time to focus the full brunt of his frustration on the person next to him. He regretted it almost immediately. "Oh, holy shit," he blurted, and normally he'd be embarrassed by his lack of filter, but holy shit indeed.