I Have Friends Who Understand Me

17 - Out

CONTENT WARNING: yelling, fighting, hitting, running away, non-binary phobic I still don't know if there's a better word

Oh god.

Oh no no no no no, please no.

This... No.

I pulled my hands out of my mother's grasp and quickly stood up, backing away from the couches.

"What... What do you mean?"

"Sweetheart, I mean... Your father and I are here to help you out now, you don't have to face this alone. We're here for you."

"Mom... What's my name?"

"Honey, don't-"

"NO. Mom, all you've called me since you got home are these weird nicknames, dear or honey or sweetie or sweetheart. You have never called me anything like that before, even when I was younger it was always 'Clo' or 'Bug' or something like that. What. Is. My. Name."

"...you know what your name is."

"I do, but I'm worried you don't. Or at least your gonna pretend you don't because you don't actually fucking care about me, just about the bullshit daughter you think you have!"

Finally, my dad stood up, putting his mug down on the coffee table, not exactly slamming it down, but not exactly not.

"What do you think gives you the right to speak to your mother like that? What?"

I wasn't sacred of my father. I wasn't. He had never given me a reason to be, but maybe, just maybe, he was a little intimidating. He was at least a proper foot taller then me and it's not like the weight lifting equipment in the basement went unused.

So naturally, as he walked towards me, clearly upset with me, I started to back away with tiny, tiny, little steps. Until my mom spoke up again, her voice completely void of the warmth it had held seconds earlier.

"Dear, give her a rest. You know how it is with teens, they all just love to hate their parents." She took a few steps so that she was in between us again. "No matter how much we do for them, everything we sacrifice for them, no matter how. much! They're alll about HATING the people who love them the most." She had started poking my chest as she talked, each poke with more force behind it then the last. It was nothing though... just a poke. Didn't hurt at all. Even when she started poking with the sides of her balled up hands. "Don't worry. It's just like this little nonbinary trend they have now, she'll grow out of it."

I tried to keep backing up, but the backs of my heels and ankles eventually knocked into those two dumb little stairs, mer inches blocking my escape.

"MOM YOU DONT GET IT. PLEASE. It's not just some dumb trend, I- I'm not some girl... I wish I could be but I'm not! It's not that simple! I just- everything feels wrong to me! Please! I just want to you listen to me..." Tears were startling to well up in my eyes, I did my best to hold them back.

"OH BULLSHIT! You're a teenager! It's called FUCKING puberty, EVERYONE goes through it! Grow the hell up!"

"NO ITS NOT, MOM. PLEASE. Just because you never experienced it doesn't mean it's not FUCKING real! Why are you always so FUCKING self-centered!"

And that's when I really fucked up. I couldn't stop myself though, my emotions mixed with the overwhelming yelling and two new aching feelings in my chest was clouding my thoughts. Everything was fuzzy and I couldn't thinks straight.

My mom stopped poking my chest with her fists, for a second everything was quite again, although my head was still filled with a suffocating fluff.

Then something cut right through it.

A sharp pain across my left check, the same one my mother stroked with love and concern when she first got home.

Now, blame it on me being a fucking weakling, blame it on the shock, blame it on my poor footing, but seconds after the sharp pain I triped over the stairs directly behind me and fell to the floor.

No one moved.

Then I ran.
I stood up as fast as I could and bolted for my bedroom.
The fluff entirely gone from my head but replaced with a deafening silence that was just as anti thought.
I couldn't even tell if anyone was trying to follow me up the stairs and down the hall, still I shoved a chair under the handle to my door as I closed it, it was the best I could do as it had no lock.

I quickly opened my window and set up the emergency ladder, climbing down in what was probably record time.
I double checked I had my phone and wallet as I climbed onto my bike and started pedaling.

---------

I wasn't even sure where I was going, I was just going. I had no idea where any of that had come from but I knew I had to get away.

I eventually drained my adrenaline and found my self getting tired out just a couple minutes from a local mall and desided to head in, locking my bike up at the racks by the front entrance and swinging my backpack over my shoulder

I walked in and used this random abandoned door to sneak into the movie theater. Max, Leo, and I used to use it sometimes when our parents would send us out of the house for "sibling bonding time", they're weird but I was glad for it, I am the only one who always had time for it...

Anyways, I found my self in some random movie that I couldn't really pay attention too and sat in a random seat towards the front, the less liked a seat, the less likely someone paid for it, the less likely I get kicked out.

I guess my bike ride tired me out more then I realized because the next thing I knew I had fallen asleep.

AN:
Annnnd they're out!
Dun dun dunnnnnn
Haha I wrote this yesterday but am only posting it today... Is this was people who have their lives together do?
Love y'all!
Peace out
:)