Evenlyn's Story: The Cullen Years (Watty '11 3rd place)

Chapter 12, Confusion

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Chapter 12, confusion

I touched the paper. My mom's secrets were buried in this diary. I looked at the paper, in my mother's handwriting it said: Meadow Carlton. Tears already threatened to spill as I saw her name. I tried to block out the flashback of her, dead. I focused on the paper and turned it. There was a rather short piece written. Should I read it? This is what she wrote in private, who was I to read it? I hesitated. A part of me, the good part of me, said not to. The other part, the part that is dying to know what it says, said that I should. My fingers touched the paper. I decided to read it, I still wanted to have that feeling that she was with me. As I read it, it was like she was saying the words on the paper.

Dear diary, 

A. is so romantic! He is so much better than J.! I still don't know why I left him so late! He is so caring and lovely! But I just met him! I feel so confused, diary! E. didn't notice that I was gone. A. is so romantic! But so mysterious at the same time, it is like he keeps secrets from me, and it drives me crazy! But just this, he took me to a lake and we talked. He asked me to come to Italy with him, but how about E.? I can't just go off for the holiday! He also brought me a rose, a beautiful red rose. But I doubt, I don't want to leave. Not yet... But, gosh, what am I glad that I left J.! I know it is long ago, but I couldn't handle being around him for longer! It is all so soon...I keep changing my mind! I am so confused, diary! Oh, I hear E. waking up.

I'll write soon.

Who was A.? Did mom have a lover? E. was me, of course. J. was John, my dad. That was where it ended. No more, no less. There were petals of a red rose glued to the page. I wondered who A. was. There had been so much things I didn't know! I closed the diary and rolled on my back and stared at the ceiling. The questions ran through my mind. What else had she hidden from me? I wanted to read on but made a deal with myself. I would read a page a day, so I wouldn't keep reading. I laid the diary beside my pillow. What was in Italy? A holiday? Who was A.? Why did she die? Did A. have something to do with that? Stop. I would leave all these thoughts for the nights and lock them away for the daytime. I looked out of the window into the beautiful pink and orange sky. I got up and opened the balcony doors. A cold wind blew against me and I shivered. It was freezing. I stepped bare-footed into the fresh, white crystal snow. My thin silk night-dress didn't protect my from the cold wind. My fingers rested on the railing. The pink sky was breathtaking. I inhaled the clean air and shook my hair out of my face. My feet were getting cold. I heard the door opening from behind, but I didn't turn around to see who it was.

"Eve?" said Esme's clear voice. I turned around to face her. I could cry right now, I was so emotional, and it annoyed me to death, I didn't want to cry the whole time. I wanted to stand strong. I stepped inside, the tears burning in my eyes. Esme was on the doorstep and in a flash at my side.

"Come downstairs, Carlisle is about to leave." She laid her arm gently on my bruised shoulder and slowly pushed me out of the room, down the stairs. Downstairs Alice and Rosalie were both behind the computer. Jasper, Emmett and Edward were watching sports and Bella was talking to a guy I haven't met yet. Carlisle was taking his coat and walked to the kitchen. Esme wrapped her arms around him from behind. He turned around in her arms and kissed his wife. I felt lost in the big room. I glanced at the clock, 6 a.m. I didn't see Nessie, she probably was still asleep. Carlisle walked over to me, carrying a silver item in his hand.