Wild Amenity » Remus Lupin

10. Mental pictures perverse everything!

Friday, 9th April 1976. 5 days until the full moon.

Remus's tolerance was giving in quicker than he had expected. He didn't run away from rooms the second Sirius entered anymore, nor sit as far away from the Marauders as he did before at dinner. In fact, he was actually starting to draw nearer. Most of the time, as James, Peter and Sirius occupied their designated couch in the common room, Remus remained silent in his spot, listening to them, and biting smiles back.

Because yes, he was giving in, but it was a work in progress. He had to keep his posture if he wanted to be respected.

But as the full moon approached, the question Remus feared to face popped up again, coming from Peter this time: should he let Sirius go with them to the Shrieking Shack?

He considered it. It wouldn't have been a proper acceptance of the apology, but it was true he wasn't as mad as he had been for the last couple of months. Maybe that was the step he needed to take to let his heart finally start healing. He was so confused, he would rather have anyone else make that decision for him.

In the end, Remus said no—only because he felt he needed to be really sure to accept, and he wasn't.

After making that extremely difficult decision, and feeling quite guilty about it, Remus headed to the secret corridor where Sleepy and Sneezy were waiting for him—as the badgers were now called. The names had been Judson's idea, but he refused to create a whole family. Safe to say, Remus was a bit disappointed. He loved the idea of having seven badger-dwarfs, even if that turned them into Snow Whites.

He sat on the floor, and the two little badgers ran towards him. He patted their heads above their hats, but his mind darted to Sirius's face when he'd heard he still wasn't welcomed to the Shack. He looked pained and sad, and Remus couldn't push his expression away, no matter how hard he tried.

Remus wished he could forget about him. It was a constant need he had of having to distract himself from thinking about Sirius. If only a solution would show itself in front of him and clear his mind from unwanted thoughts...

The door opened, letting Judson in, and every worry Remus had jumped out a window. He smiled.

"Look who's late now," he teased, as for once he was the one arriving early. Judson frowned, and pointed a finger at his watch.

"I'm perfectly on time."

"I still got here first."

"That's not how tardiness works."

Judson sat on the floor next to him, and Sneezy came running to him. Patting his head, he took out of his bag a piece of bread, which he broke into little pieces and left into the food trays they had made for them. The badgers lounged forward at the smell of food, and Judson let out a cute laugh.

They had been taking turns to visit the badgers during the week, since O.W.L.s were approaching and studying was not negotiable. Once a week, Remus and Judson agreed on going together, and filled the plates with enough food to keep them alive until the next time they showed up. This time, it had been Judson's turn: he left several pieces of bread in front of each cradle, and the badgers' eyes enlarged at the amount of food meant only for them.

"How was your day?" Remus asked, accepting the mint Judson was offering to him. Apparently, he had brought fuel for them as well.

"It started alright, nothing out of the ordinary, until Porzio decided to ruin it." Judson groaned, and threw two mints at once in his mouth.

Remus chuckled. He had gotten used to hearing him complain about his roommate. "What did he do this time?"

"He stole my spot in the common room!" Judson exclaimed. "He knows I always sit at the same table by the same window at the same time. But when I got down from the dorm after cleaning the mess he had made, I found him sitting there, casually writing his stupid essay."