incandescent

I'm fine. *

I'm fine.
"Yes, I'm fine," I'm just tired.
I'm tired of constant disappointment in myself and in the world.
I'm tired of the heart heavy in my chest, weighing me down like bitter, unforgiving chains.
I'm tired of my own hate for myself, my insecurities splattered against a broken mirror.
I'm tired of the cracks in my image held open by society's rough hands, prodding and poking at me.
I'm tired of the anxiety chasing me everywhere I go, following me like a plague.
I'm tired of the self-sabotage that restricts me in its wicked cage.
Even now, I'm tired of my worry that you won't even like this stupid poem.
I'm tired of living, but I'm tired of not wanting to live.
Yet when I try to say this, I choke up on fear and drown in despair.
So I fake a smile and nod and say,
"Yes, I'm fine."

- blue