Wings for Flight

Growth [Letter]

Dear E.C.

I'm not sure if you will even stop to read this. But to be honest, I don't care anymore. I am conflicted. Don't want you to be gone. Same with the other close friends I have. You're right. I fucked up big when my depression overtook me. You're right. I am no adult. You're right. I was not a good friend to you. I apologize for my part to play in this.

I miss you. And I lie here awake haunted by the question; do you miss me too? I lost Caroline as a friend again shortly after I lost you. And so I've been struggling even more. What hurts most is that by losing Caroline, it made this thought cross my mind; if I wasn't a Christian would she still be my friend? I have never considered leaving the faith over pressure and peer stress. I have always been somewhat protected from that, since I've been homeschooling most of my more conscious life.

I am aiming to move here around August. Will be going somewhere real soon to find out about the arrangement of moving there... it'll be my first time to spread my wings and fly. To be honest, I'm nervous about it but excited at the same time... I tell you this cuz, I want you to know I'm working towards growing up... It is hard but worth it!

You are in my prayers! Peace
A.S.