Wings for Flight

Free to Fly [Short Story]

One moment I felt amazing and glad... Now I feel this soul-crushing emptiness, fear, despair and confusion again. What is even more frustrating is that I do not know why I feel this way... In the back of my mind he's whispering his accusations again. "You think you are so strong," he says, "but you are weak. You flee from everything... And lie to be the centre of attention. How dare you even speak? How dare you breathe those lies? How dare you?" The haunting feeling of self-loathing and inadequacy is burying me in the motions. I'm drowning! "How dare you even feel happy you hurt so many people! That one woman you helped today is nothing compared to the thousands of graves that lay behind! Selfish! You aren't a good daughter! You aren't a good sister! You aren't a good friend! You're not a good person!" Backed up in a corner, I'm being murdered by my thoughts! The gun is loaded its lowered and each bullet stings me in the heart— these memories and words haunting me while I stand alone yet crowded with people... "You're no good for anybody! Waste of space! Waste of air! Waste of time! Waste! Trash! Junk! Piece of shi—!" 

"SHUTTUP!!!" I scream out; "You have no power over me! You are not welcome here! I am the child of the Most High! How dare you come and haunt me? How dare you touch me? Get out!

"I don't answer to you! I don't belong to you! You don't own me anymore! I'm free! And I'm gonna fly!

"I won't let you steal my feathers! Not one, not three, not six! I am Christ's and my faith will mount me on wings like eagles! I'm free! I am free!"

With the silence of the voice in my mind, I fell to my knees, my heart tired, and whispering "I need ministering... Heal me Lord."