Tom's Flashback
We never knew when it would happen. Years upon years he'd been fighting this battle, but we had always pushed the though of his passing out of our minds.
It was just a normal Saturday. A light breeze was blowing, and birds were singing. I later cursed them for being so happy.
I stood outside of my house, just a 16 year old, enjoying the spring day. I feel so much older, yet it feels like yesterday. I felt a cool breeze strike my arm; it took me a minute to register that it wasn't the wind. The door had opened and my brother Will stood in its place. I grinned at him, but then I saw the look in his eyes. They screamed one word at me.
Dad.
It was that time of the day.
Wordlessly we headed inside, only to see mom talking rapidly on the phone. We waited for her conversation to end; meanwhile I was trying to block out the words that escaped her mouth.
She set the phone down. It was deadly silent for a few seconds, then she looked at us and smiled. "Are you boys ready to go?"
I wasted no time. "Is everything ok?"
She didn't answer, just gave me a smile that seemed forced. "Just go get Ben."
My mother was the strongest woman I've ever known. Every day she sat in the hospital, watching her other half suffer slowly from brain cancer, and yet she still had the strength to smile. Even if it was forced.
Will had left and was probably getting Ben. I gave my mom a reassuring smile and walked out to the car. Later, she, Will, and Ben followed.
Almost like a funeral procession.
We arrived at the hospital, and the clerks didn't even bother checking us in. With one glance the recognized us. We headed to the elevator, enduring yet another painstaking silence during our ascent.
I was the first to reach the door.
There he was, the man who was once tall and strong, the man who carried me on his back and into the pool when I was younger.
The man who laid in a hospital bed, emaciated, with an IV in his arm.
I gently pushed open the door. I opened my mouth to speak, but he beat me there.
"Tom." His voice, surprisingly was still as strong and deep as ever.
"Hey dad. How's it going?"
"As good as it can be, son." He chuckled. Just like the birds. How can he laugh at times like this? Just like him to find light in every dark corner. And I felt trapped in that corner.
My mom and brothers waited patiently outside, knowing that I always liked to have some alone time with him. I nodded, motioning for them to enter.
"Hey honey."
"Hey dad" My brothers said in unison. They looked at each other and chuckled. The were so much like my dad. Will's broad shoulders, Ben's eyes that held an identical spark as his old man's.
We all gathered around the bed, solemnly holding each others' glances. We all saw the same thing. The spark in Dad's eyes, slightly dulled. The one thing we never expected to dissipate.
He glanced at each one of us. "Why the long faces?" Though the spark may be gone in his eyes, it remained in his spirit.
His eyes made contact with Mom's. At that moment they saw everything. Their past, their present, and their future. How much they love each other. How much they'd miss each other.
We all knew, at that moment, that it was soon.
He laid back in the bed, and simply left.
Left.
Left like the summer heat when you step into a shadow. In that moment, a part of me left. And that part was underwater, trying to submerge.
