They Said

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They said I was beautiful

that my eyes shined like emeralds

that my hair looked like night

that my skin held life


and then they stopped

they saw my dull eyes

they saw my torn hair

they saw my scarred arms


I guess they finally saw me


I stood in front of them

my arms barred

my eyes clear

my hair swept back


and they said ugly


I shrugged

and whispered

I guess so


I used to cut because they called me beautiful

used to wear a mask of paint

used to smile with a false face

then I stopped

because my beauty never changed

under all of those layers of doubt

and despair

and pain

so I just washed off the layers

and let them see me

I let them see that I wasn't fake anymore

but still

I was beautiful

in a way that they could never be

and I whispered to them

ugly

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