My Favourite Dream

12. The Ugly Truth.

Author's POV

"I am sorry to intrude in your privacy, but you can call me when you feel fine. Bye Parineet." For a second, Taran didn't know how to handle the blow one after the another. But ofcourse he is not that close to her and Parineet, definitely has made some boundaries for herself that even calling her by a certain name, irks her so much and is a big issue for her. Whatever experience or trauma she has suffered in her life has made her very emotional and vulnerable. While at the same time, discussing about her frame of mind, or her confiding into him about what happened with her, which apparently made her mood off, is completely a person's call. Her call. Sometimes people just can't tell or share their problems, challenges, issues which is okay to Taran and he respects her decision. 

After putting the phone down, he smiled because Taran could see that she at least had started reacting. Screaming your heart out is also a sign of healing and recovering. Human is a social animal, in some ways be it art, work, or conversations, he tends to find his way to express himself and those who don't talk, don't react are  considered to be not alright. 

Parineet was panting hard. After screaming at Taran, she felt neither apologetic nor proud. He shouldn't have forced her to talk at this point when she is unable to commute to her brother, her best friend and specifically to herself. When she thinks of everything that happened with her, or she did as a reaction, altogether, she finds herself in a mess. She is ex wife of her best friend's husband, she has hidden this from Neeti and she is getting treatment for clinical depression which affects her so much and has turned her into a completely different human being. Also she dreads the future. No matter how much you try to hide the truth, it comes out one day. She fears the day when Neeti will come to know about her ugly secret. 

Parineet realised how always it's she who has been very bad at friendships. Be it with her childhood friend Neeti or a new found one Taran. She always chose herself over them. Is it right? Being selfish and inconsiderate to them? Maybe not. Also in Neeti's case, she has lied and keeping her distance from her not because she wanted it for her mental peace but because she wanted Neeti to be happy by any means. However, if she considers the former, she can not mend what has transpired between her and Neeti but she can say a sorry to Taran for shouting at her. She should. She was rude and there's nothing wrong in saying a sorry. At the same time, she doesn't want him to force her into conversations, meetups or any other thing which accounts for interaction, and today she will tell him that. First of all, she never has been an outgoing person, she was always the quiet and obedient one with less or no friends. Her upbringing had been done in a protective environment, by her very traditional Punjabi family where she has always been docile and submissive. Even Parineet does not come to understand how is she doing it when she replies and gives back to Taran in certain situations. The one who stands before Taran is a very different version of Parineet, which she also, is unaware of. 

Maybe there are some people, who can extract out what you tend to hide or doesn't know that exist inside you, very easily. Maybe one such guy is Taran, who has made an entry and place in her life when she least expected it. He just came like a strong gust of wind. Uncalled yet noticeable. He can't be ignored and hated for some reasons, one may dislike him but hate? It can never happen. He is a fun person, a true extrovert and an amicable personality. And this reminds her that she should apologize to him for her behavior. Parineet picked up her new mobile phone and dialed the recently present, unsaved number. The bell rang and he didn't pick up which left her sad. Parineet could see herself travelling in another trip of guilt and silence. When you want to apologize and the other one starts to ignore you, it is the worst thing that can happen. It makes you restless, irritated and lost. 

She has became afraid of forming new relationships with people and that's why never wanted to indulge with him, but Taran just happened to her. In fact she herself was attracted to him, and initiated a friendly hand to him. She was feeling good, no doubt, post taking a step towards him but in just a span of two days she feels burdened. But she won't break her friendship with him, because the reason she feels this way is crafted by her only. A bond as old as her own age, is taking a toll on her and Taran's. Parineet feels clueless about the former but affirmed about the latter as she saved Taran's number again.