Falling For Henry Cavill

Engaged

I did not realize it was September until I looked at my schedule for the week one Wednesday. By this time I had quit the zoo in the attempt to rid myself of any memories I had of Henry. I was working full time as a VIP tutor and had my days full tutoring several students a day. From Monday to Friday there was no time for anything else other than eating and sleeping. Daniel was supportive and came around after I was done with my tutoring and spent a couple of hours with me on the couch watching some movie or show and sometimes just talking or reading scriptures. It was comforting and reassuring, I did not think of Henry at all and I was sure that Daniel was planning a proposal soon. I still did not get sacred when he left the house and I still did not want to stay in his embrace forever, but I was okay with that. This was my ideal. This was what I had always wanted, someone that loved the gospel and God as much as I did and that went to church with me and wanted to teach those principles to the kids that we had if we did have any. We had talked about how many kids we wanted and we both wanted three to four kids, if possible five but it didn't matter to either of us. It was perfect. No one could have been more perfect for me than Daniel. I was sure that I was in love because I loved that about him and loved how well we suited one another and how comfortable we were telling one another when we did not like something about the other or when we were addressing some other matter. No one raised their voices nor did we sit there and argue. Instead, we did the opposite. As soon as we began to get upset we turned to cool down and gather our thoughts until we knew exactly what we wanted to tell one another. To Maggie's and Emma's and Allen's impression, it seemed that I was trying to forget Henry too much and settling. I did not understand why they believed that. I could not understand why they did not understand that Daniel was the man that I had always waited for. He came at exactly the right time. The fact that he came after Henry was a coincidence and maybe even a necessity so that I knew exactly what I wanted and not fall for what I thought was love, but rather be with the man that I needed to be with and not just one I thought I wanted to be with because of his looks and because I was purely attracted to him. Attraction is not the only type of love that we are allowed to have. I was not in love with Daniel, but I loved who he was. Sometimes we fall in love with people because we are attracted to them, and sometimes we love people who think and love like us. Our connection was not physical but it was a connection of minds that saw the world the same way and that wanted the same things out of life. We are one in mind and purpose and we had no differences to separate us. Instead, we were united even more because of the same ideals and precepts. The Allen's opinion was clear- we do not choose with whom we fall in love. I could not stand the thought of having to defend my faith to a spouse. I wanted a spouse that I could be united with by God. I wanted a spouse that I could be united with by God. I did not believe I was wrong in my desires. I felt that they should understand me and help me considering that it was nowhere to be seen or heard of- at least not in person. My desire to have someone to go to church with that lived the gospel was an obvious reason to stay with someone and expected all of them to agree with me. But they did not , yet they did support my decision to be with Daniel. Even my mom, who was living several hours away and across the globe mentioned that I did not look happy, but complacent. I disregarded their opinions of my love life and looked forward to Daniel proposing soon. The proposal was on a Saturday. The second Saturday of September to be exact that Daniel decided to propose. He came over to the house and we were cooking dinner together. We were trying out a new recipe that was laborious but we were enjoying each other's company. When we finished cooking and put the food in the oven to bake we made our way to the living room where as I sat down on the couch he kneeled down to pick something that I dropped off the floor. When he looked up at time still kneeling on one knee, he opened a box with a ring and asked if I wanted to spend eternity with him. I smiled and placed my hands over my face. The ring was beautiful and although he was not the most gallant of men who did things for me as a certain person use to do, I was excited and said yes. He placed the ring on my finger. As he did, there was a knock at the door. I was shocked because I was not expecting anyone and told Maggie to go to someone's house and the Allen's kids that they could not come over to the house because I was expecting a special occasion. Apart from them, who were told not to come, there was no one else I could thing that could be knocking at my door at 5:30 in the evening. I was about to get up, but Daniel got up to open it and asked me if I was expecting anyone. I told him I did not expect anyone. He opened the door and on the other side of the threshold was a man with a rolled sleeve button up and slacks; a man with blue eyes and broad shoulders that at the sight of made me pine for his warm and protective embrace. My eyes began to get misty. Our eyes locked as soon as Daniel opened the door. Without a word, we stared until Daniel spoke.
-"I take it you two know eah other."Daniel looked from Henry to me confused and somewhat alarmed.
-"Yes, I said finally after meeting Henry's gaze with the same intensity.
-"I am sorry if I am bothering. Where are my manners? Hi! I am Henry." Henry said extending his hand to shake Daniel's.
-"I know who you are. Hi, I am Daniel. You want to come?" Daniel asked Henry.
-"Not at all. I do not want to intrude, especially would not want to ruin a date. I just wanted to see how Alejandra was doing."Henry said politely and went from addressing Daniel to addressing me.
-"PH, no worries. Come on in. I am sure she is wanting to know how you are doing. Come on in and make yourself comfortable." Daniel insisted. I was not aware of it at the time, but looking back it seemed that he wanted to get to know the man that played Superman. I had been so distraught by his showing up at my house that I did not know what to make of his visit. Not only was I distraught, I was also mortified and the pain and heartbreak all came rushing down over me again as if it had never left. I could not sit there beside him and talk to him as if nothing had happened and it tore me apart. I did not want him to know it nor did I want his pity. I was especially uncomfortable and I was sure that they both noticed it but Daniel insisted.
-"So, how do you two know each other?" asked Daniel after Henry found a place to sit.
-"We are neighbors and we met at the zoo where she works" Henry replied quickly.
-"YOu mean, where she used to work." Daniel corrected.
-"Oh, right."Henry agreed. He did not know what to say afterward, maybe because he could not say what he truly wanted to say.
-"I have not seen you here before. Were you working away from home? I bet you were filming something in a different country." Daniel was definitely excited to talk about Henry's acting projects.
- "Yes, but I cannot five any details out. You know confidentiality and all of that. Especially if I want to keep working." Henry was being nice, I could tell. He kept looking back at me as he talked to Daniel.
- "Right! All the secrecy to make it exciting for the audiences." Daniel reasoned and could not stop smiling.
- "Yes, well it is part of the job. And like you say, we have to maintain the audience anticipating everything." Henry explained as he got up and continued talking.
- "I really must be going.I just wanted to know how you were doing, and I see you have dinner in the oven and that I am in the way. I will see myself out.
- "We are not in a hurry or anything are we honey?" I flinched. Daniel had not expressed himself like that before. Henry looked at me expecting a reply. I was not sure what to say.
- "Let him go, Daniel. I expect he is tired from his trip." I suggested and unpurposefully caressed the side of my face with the hand that had the engagement ring that Daniel had just given me. Henry saw it, raised his eyebrow, and started to leave.
- "Nice to meet you man." said Daniel as Henry walked out. Henry nodded in agreement and stepped out. I wanted to go with him and explain. I wanted not to hurt seeing him walking out again. I wanted so much to look after him and embrace him and stay with him like that until we could not anymore.It was infuriating. He was infuriating.
- "I will be right back." I told Daniel and went out to catch up to Henry. He was several feet away.
- "Henry!" I ran out to catch up with him as I hollered.
- "Yes." He replied coldly. I did not know what to say. There were so many things running through my mind and did not know which to express first.
- "Did you come to tell me that you are engaged?" He reached for my hand and held it up pointing at the ring. I shook my head no.
- "No, I mean, Yes. This just happened today." I blurted out without thinking. I did not want to talk about that.
- "You do not have to explain anything Alex. It is fine. Go to him. I wish you all the happiness in the world." He said sincerely and I began to cry. I could not hold it in anymore and tears streamed down my face without warning. I wanted to speak. I had so much to say, but could not. The overwhelming emotions inside me came upon me like a wish of a waterfall. I could not stop crying and shaking. He grabbed my arms and then embraced me and as if reading my thoughts he softened his voice to comfort me.
- "I am sorry. I should have not shown up today. I did not mean to do this to you, and I certainly did not mean to destroy the happiness that you have created with him. I just had to see you. I guess I realized too late the mistake that I made, but I will not torment you. I see that you have made a life with whoever that was. I just needed you to know how much I missed you and how much I truly feel for you." What he did not know was how much I missed his embrace and how comforting it was to have his arms around me. I knew then that no matter what. I did not want to be with Daniel. Henry was the man I was in love with and wanted to give my heart and soul to. After a few minutes of being wrapped around his arms, my crying calmed down and I could speak.
- "There is nothing wrong with coming to see me. Thank you for coming. Thank you for being the man that you are. And you were not the only one that ended things. I was glad of it as well. I was sure that we were not meant to be, that we were too different and that we would never work. The longer I was without you , the more it hurt but I came to realize that I could love again and yes, Daniel and I just got engaged to be married. It is not sudden, but I just wanted you to know that I do have a strong affection for you and that every moment we spent together were important to me. They were truly magical, almost like a movie and I know that if we did try to get together that in the end it would not work. We are too different. But now that you are back, it is like you never left. I just do not know what to do or think anymore because I was sure that Daniel was right for me. He is everything I wanted, but you. You are not the man I ever wanted or even dreamed of but you make me feel more than he ever will, I know it. I know I just got engaged, but seeing you right now, here, on the day of the engagement makes me question everything. I do not know why, but I believe that it was not a coincidence because I hurt when I see you walk out of my life and I cannot bear it. It hurts too much and I cannot bear the thought of not being wrapped around your arms and the security and peace they bring me. " I was not afraid of laying it all out on the table. I was afraid of losing him. I was afraid that I would not get a third chance to tell him exactly how he makes me feel everytime he leaves me or how I felt every time that he embraced me. He had to know it all.
-"I know exactly how you feel and what you mean. That is why I came back. That pain you felt; I felt it too. It was too much and you do not know how close I was to living the set so many times and just coming to see you and tell you everything. I tried so many times to call you, but all I could think of was the way in which we ended things and I knew that it was impossible for me to communicate what I wanted to communicate with you through the phone or a video chat." We were inches away from each other. I looked up at him with red puffy eyes. He placed his hand on the bottom of my chin and drew it closer to him. His hand on my face was warm and it awakened something in me that reminded me of how it felt to be touched by him- something beyond explanation and description. I felt his fingers caressing me and I leaned my face more into his hand and then placed my hand on his and held it and before I began to kiss it Daniel interrupted us with a clearing of his throat. We both turned.
- "Daniel! How long have you been standing there?" I asked him as I turned to face him.
- "Not long. Is there something I need to know?" He looked at me expecting an explanation but did not.
- "I just came to tell you that dinner was done, but instead I found you in the arms of SUperman so that is pretty self explanatory. I will just leave. I'll tell JOhn to come pick up the ring for me." He said bitterly and walked off. It was hard to believe that he would walk out just like that. I understood his reasons and did not blame him for doing so. It seemed strange to hear him refer to Henry as Superman as if that was his identity. I felt his bitterness and wanted to run after him and tell him how sorry I was, but I knew that would not help now. After eating the dinner Daniel and I made with Henry and after hours of arguing whether he should go home or not, he unwillingly left and I wrote Daniel a letter.

Daniel,
You do not know how sorry I am that this has ended the way it has and that you left before I could explain. Please do me the favor in reading this letter so that you may better understand my actions. When we met back in July, I had just broken up with Henry who was away working. I did not start dating to forget him. I genuinely liked you. You were the type of man I was waiting for my whole life. You are smart, fun, and everything that I could ever want. I said yes to the proposal because I honestly wanted to be with you because you fit all the traits and more specifically because you are a member of the church and I wanted to be with someone that I could go to church on Sundays and study the word of God. When I saw Henry leaving the apartment it scared me again like it used to and I was afraid to lose him forever this time. I realized that I could not live without him. I am very sorry for any pain or if not pain any hard feelings that I have caused you and I hope with all of my heart that you will forgive me. I did not mean for any of this to happen. I was not using you nor was I unhappy with you. I was happy with you and enjoyed our moments together immensely. If Henry had not come back today we probably would have gotten married, but the truth of the matter is that I did think that I loved him when in reality I do. I also believed that you and I were perfect and though I do love you, it is not the same type of love that I feel for him and I am truly sorry for not realizing that before you proposed to me. I am sorry that it had to happen like this. Please believe me and accept my best wishes for you and your future wife with whom I know you will truly be happy because you will love her and she will love you the way that you are supposed to be loved because of your mind but also because you are wildly in love with everything about her for no reason and will wish to be with her always. I truly appreciate what you did for me and how much you cared for me. I sorrowfully ask for your forgiveness and that you always think of me as a friend who cared enough for you to let you go and not enslave you to a marriage without true love.

Sincerely,
Your friend and confidant,
Alejandra