Siren In The Sky // Bradley Bradshaw

Chapter 2

Looking in the mirror I smooth the edges of the crisp white uniform. Adjusting my hat I stare straight ahead. I will get through this. "Are you ready to go?" My eyes stay on the mirror. "As ready as I'll ever be." 

The car ride to the base is quiet, the only sound being the soft melody playing from the radio. Bradley glances at me occasionally, scanning me, looking for a crack in my armor. I will not break. I will not let this break me. All too soon we arrive at base. I feel embarrassed as I wheel inside with many eyes and sympathetic looks thrown my way. I used to walk around here with my head held high. I graduated first in Top Gun. I was the best of the very best. I was feared, respected. Now I am....nothing. An unfortunate story people tell. 

"Come in," Cyclone's voice echoes from inside the office. Bradley opens the door for me and I wheel towards the admiral's desk. Honey brown eyes connect with mine briefly before the door closes. "Siren, how are you feeling?" I smile at Cyclone. "I'm doing well." He smiles back, looking relieved. I scoff internally. Every time someone asks I say I'm great or I'm fine and every single one of them looks happy when I say it. They're not stupid. They know I'm not fine. Who in their right mind would be fine in this situation? They just want to believe I am. It's easier.

Cyclone folds his hands on his desk. "Well, for starters you are decorated for being injured in combat. Congratulations." Congratulations? Yay for me I get a fucking medal for losing my leg. But, of course, I don't say that. "Thank you, sir." He continues, "Secondly, I along with the United States Navy would like to thank you for your service. As of today, you are being honorably discharged..." He continues talking but I don't listen. My throat is burning and a pit nestles its way into my stomach. 

"Honorably discharged?" I squeak. He pauses talking, looking at me. "Siren, you were an amazing pilot. However, your time as a naval aviator has come to an end." I feel tears behind my eyes but I push them back. I will not break. Clearing my throat I ask, "What about an instructor? I could teach-" "Lieutenant." I shut my mouth. "I'm sorry, truly. But it's over." 

I only nod. I don't know why I bothered arguing. I knew what this meeting was about, and I knew I would be discharged. I still held hope, though. That I could come back from this. That I wasn't done. I'm so fucking stupid. I should've prepared myself. I was naive. 

With trembling hands I reach up and unclip the gold wings from my uniform. I place them carefully onto the desk. The place where they once rested on my chest feels so empty. I feel like I may throw up or faint or cry forever. My vision blurs as I stare at the wings, my wings. A single tear drips down my face but I quickly wipe it away. I will not cry. "Thank you for your time, sir." I state in a hoarse voice. I rip my gaze away from the gold pin and leave.

As I leave, I know everyone can see the blank space on my uniform. I keep my jaw set and stare straight forward. Just make it home. Just make it home. Once in my room I lay down in bed on my side, facing away from Bradley. I don't want him to see me cry. My eyes are trained out the window but I'm not really seeing anything. 

"I love you." He says it softly, trying to make me feel better. "You shouldn't," I mumble. I didn't mean for him to hear it, but he does. "What?" My vision blurs and the long witheld tears finally overflow. "Don't you understand?" My voice cracks. "I'm nothing." I purse my lips together, still trying to hold my cries in. "Look at me." I don't turn around. "Selene, look at me." When I ignore him for the second time he walks around the bed and kneels in front of me. "What are you talking about, baby?" 

I scoff and sit up, leaning back against the headboard. "What am I talking about? You know exactly what I'm talking about! Being a pilot is the ONE thing I've ever been good at! It's who I am! I'm useless without it. I worked so hard, and for what? A fucking medal? I dedicated my whole life to being THE BEST OF THE FUCKING BEST and now I am nothing!" I yell, furiously gesturing with my hands. "You are not nothing," Bradley tries to convince me.

 I laugh sarcastically, bitterly. "Then what do you call me? I'm don't know what to do with my life, I'm a burden you've been forced to take care of. I'm a liability that's been dumped on you!" Bradley sits in front of me, grabbing my arms and forcing them to stop. "If you think I'm going to break up with you, then you're insane. I told you I'm not going anywhere," He scolds. "You should break up with me. I'm just going to hold you back. I should've just died like I was supposed to."

Bradley shoots up to standing, now looking angry. "Don't you ever say that again." His voice is dangerously low, his finger pointing at me. "Watching you die, in my arms, was the worst thing I've ever experienced in my life. I  watched, helplessly, as I thought I was loosing you forever. It was my worst nightmare." I lower my gaze to the bed and start sobbing. Burying my head in my hands I cry and cry harder than I think I ever have. Bradley sits next to me and pulls me into his arms, soothingly rubbing my back while I let out 3 weeks of pent up emotion. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," I sniffle. "I know you didn't." 

As the tears slow down Bradley begins speaking. "What happened to you is not your fault. You should never feel guilty for letting those who love you, take care of you. okay?" I weakly nod. "And Selene," He cups my face to turn it towards him, running his thumb back and forth over my cheek. "I didn't fall in love with you because you're a pilot and I'm not going to stop loving you because you're not one. I know there's a lot of unknowns right now, but we'll figure it out together." 

I lean forward and give him a long, passionate kiss. "I love you." He rests his forehead against mine. "I love you too." With one more peck he releases me. "Do you need help getting dressed?" I shake my head. "No, I got it." "Yell if you need anything." I smile. "I will." He exits the room, leaving me alone. 

I scoot over to the end of the bed so I can look in the mirror. I slowly unbutton my uniform and change into a pair of sweats. I lay out each piece as nicely as I can, taking my time to straighten them and make sure they're clean. Sliding the bag over it, I zip up the garments inside. I stand on my right leg, and using the wall, make my way to the closet. 

And for the last time, I hang up my uniform.