A Lunatic's Reality

Chapter 11: Life is a Bloody Mess

Chapter 11

*Life is a Bloody Mess*

The cold floor woke me up. It was already dark and the lights in the house were off. It looks like the two of them are away, for now.

I tried to stand up and look for a light. I groped through the darkness, looking for the switch on the wall. I stumbled through something hard and fell flat on the floor. Strange, I no longer felt the pain even though I hit my head on the cold, hard cement.

After standing up, I saw the switch and turned on the light. What I saw next was a real mess. Chairs and tables were placed topsy-turvily on the room. The cushions on the sofa were placed here and there. Broken shards of glass and other objects were scattered everywhere. But the worst thing I saw was my skin.

My arms and legs had the worst burns I have ever seen. At least none of the hot water reached my face. But the injury on there though was a little lump probably made by the incident with the floor.

I looked at my face in the mirror and saw a really poor sight. I can't believe that the girl in the mirror is really me. A huge lump was on my forehead. Burn wounds are all over my skin. They are also mixed with the previous whippings. No matter how hard I try to think of smiling, I can't find a single thing to be happy about.

Everything was taken away from me. My life, my happiness, my joy, my future -- all was stolen by this stinking poverty. I despise my life. I loathe it so much that I can't voice my anger and frustration anymore. All I can do is stare into space, wondering if life wasn't like this bloody mess.

What if  my life is normal? Would I feel sad like this? If my parents are what real parents should be, would I be like this?

I am too tired to think. Too tired to live my life. Too tired to face a new day bearing the sorrows of yesterday. It is just too, too tiring.