Nothing's Forever - Killugon

Day 6 - Unanswered Questions

2 days left

Killua POV:

I helped Gon pack some more today. We pretty much packed it all, except for a few things.

Now I'm sitting at the table for dinner with my mother, pushing my pesto pasta around on my plate.

"You ok Killua?" she says all of a sudden, "You seem kinda down."

"I'm fine," I mutter, "Just tired."

It's a lie of course, but what else is new?

The thick noodles just sit on the plate, untouched and getting cold.

"Ok," she says, sounding unconvinced.

When my mom is done eating, she gets up to wash her plate. I see this as my invitation to get up as well. I scrape the rest of my uneaten food into the trash and put my plate in the sink. She picks it up to wash.

"You haven't been eating much these past few days Killua," she says, her voice laced with concern.

Why does she fucking care?!

"I said I'm fine."

Mom turns off the water and turns to me, clamping her hands on my shoulders.

"Killua."

I don't look at her.

"What's going on?" she asks, her voice softening.

Still nothing.

"Has something been happening this summer that you want to tell me about?"

In that moment, I really wish I could tell her everything.

But I'm still scared.

"It's nothing."

"Ok," she says, defeated.

I turn to go.

"Killua?"

"Yea?"

"I just- I know I might not have been the best mother to you before. Maybe I haven't listened enough. But I still want you to know, you can tell me things. If something's bothering you, I can help you."

"Ok mom," I say.

I'm about to go, but I have an idea.

I check the time. It's not too late.

"Hey mom?"

"Yes?"

"Can I go for a little walk? I know it's kind of dark, but... I just want to be outside."

She hesitates, but finally speaks.

"Ok... but please be safe ok?"

"I will mom."

I put on my shoes and walk to the treehouse in the dark.

The place I used to always come to be by myself now feels very cold and lonely when I'm alone.

I pick up the phone and call Gon. He picks up after a couple rings.

"Hello love, what's up?" he asks.

"Will you meet me at the treehouse?"

"This late?"

"Yea, I know it's late," I say, "But my mom let me out. Do you think you could come? I'd like your company right about now."

"I'll see what I can do," he says softly, before hanging up.

In another fifteen minutes or so, I hear a voice calling to me.

"Killua? Are you up there?"

I peek down to see Gon standing at the foot of the ladder.

"I'm here!" I call.

He comes up and sits beside me.

"Hey," I say, "Did Aunt Mito let you out or did you sneak out?"

"It took some convincing, but Aunt Mito actually let me out. I said I wanted to go for a walk and she immediately said no, but I kept asking. Eventually Grandma told her to let me. So now I'm here," he says.

I smile.

"Thanks for coming," I say.

"Of course, what better place is there for me to be than with you?"

He wraps his arms around me and I hug back.

"I love you," i say.

"I love you too."

Gon moves his hand to lightly caress my cheek and I lean into the touch. He leans down to kiss my cheek but I move so he gets my lips instead. He makes a little surprised noise at first, but kisses me back. We just sit there, snuggled against each other, lips pressing against each other.

Memories of our first kiss come back to me, feeling like so long ago. We had no idea how little time we had.

Eventually we break the kiss so we can breathe, but our mouths are still connected by a string of spit. Embarrassed, I try to suck it back into my mouth, which makes Gon chuckle. He swipes at it, wiping it away. I just bury my face in his chest, my cheeks hot. Gon puts his face in my hair.

"I'm gonna miss this," he says softly.

"Me too," I respond.

He kisses me again, and I reach up to gently run my fingers through his hair. When the kiss breaks we move so we're sitting close to the entrance where we can see the stars. There are so many of them, twinkling brightly in the night sky.

"Ne Killua? Do you think there's life on other planets?" Gon asks.

"I don't know, Gon," I say.

It's the truth.

"Do you think there is?" I ask.

"Of course!" he says, "There's so, so many stars out there, and even more planets! We can't be the only ones. It was just chance that this planet got all the things needed for life over time, so why couldn't that happen other places? It has to. We can't be alone."

"I don't know Gon, maybe you're right," I say, "I guess I've never really thought about it that much. What I think about more is infinity."

"Infinity?" he asks.

"Yea. People say the universe is infinite, but what does that even mean? How can something go on forever? What's beyond it! If it's nothing, what does nothing mean?"

"Oof, that's too much for me," he says, chuckling, "I really don't know."

"But, also, if the universe is truly infinite, or even if it's not, Earth is still so small. Just a tiny grain of sand, or something even smaller than sand, floating in the universe. In the grand scheme of things, a million years here is just an instant. So, does anything really matter? We're so small, do we even mean anything? Do we as humans matter? Do we-" I gesture at us, "matter?" my voice gets softer, "Does our friendship matter?"

"Killua."

Gon's voice is firm, and he touches my cheek.

"It doesn't matter how small we are. Even if we seem tiny, and insignificant, we are still here. We will still have been here in the future, and nothing can change that. We are still here, and we still matter. We may not make a difference in this grand universe, but we still matter here on Earth. You matter to me, Killua. And that's not it. You matter in this world, even if you don't feel it. We all do. Believe me when I say that."

He touches his forehead to mine,

"But why do i matter?"

"Because you're you," he says confidently.

"Because... I'm me?" I respond, "I'm not sure if that makes sense or not."

Gon smiles and gives me a peck on the lips.

"I know!"