In These Arms [mxm]

Chapter 29 - Always tomorrow

I think everyone will remember already: but juuust a reminder that these chapters are compleeeeetely unedited - even less so now that I am literally just smashing them out while the boss's laptop is available to me. My hotel guests are dropping my broken one to the repair shop tomorrow for me, so maybe I'll get it back before too much longer. 

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"We just got you back," Father said. "Let's worry about these extra details when the dust has settled a little more, hm?"

"What dust is unsettled to begin with?" I asked, crossing my arms as I challenged each of them. "Am I not a twenty-six-year-old man? Why should I be kept in the dark while you worry about these things yourself?"

Father-in-law sighed and took a seat on his bed, patting the space beside him. "Haneul, how much of your time in the military do you remember?"

"Just a few months, I think." I glanced at Chanyeol then back at Father. "Is this how you admit that that phone call had something to do with me and my father?"

He sighed once again, but this time he groaned, clenching his eyes shut as he rubbed his forehead with frustration. "How are you no less of a headache now than you were those years ago?"

I frowned at him. "My memory is choppy, but I have dreams of... no, nightmares about my father. Sometimes I see and hear him in my sleep, and I beg him not to harm me. But I have no memory of how or why these dreams came to be."

"Your memory loss is a trauma response," Father said. "Not just a result of impact or injury. Whatever you experienced during your deployment to Afghanistan, your brain is protecting you from having to think about it again. If we say anything about it now, your mind might not be able to take it. If we trigger those memories, you might not be ready to handle it. Is that what you want?"

"Don't patronize me," I said, moving away and looking to Chanyeol, inwardly begging for support. "Whether I'm nineteen or twenty-six, I have a right to know about any affairs which concern me. I'm an adult and should reserve the right to be treated as one. Are you not inclined to agree?"

Chanyeol's lips pursed. "Fine, but we'll have this conversation at home where I can help make it easier for you."

Father looked displeased. "You will regret it. At least wait until we have the fuckers in the bag before scaring him."

"I'll always keep him safe," Chanyeol said. "There is nothing for him to fear."

Father-in-law grabbed my head and pushed my forehead against his, looking me dead in the eyes. His brown eyes appeared solemn and tired, with dark circles running far below them. I knew that when he spoke, it was with both urgency and sincerity. "Son, I cannot stop you if this is your wish, but I need you to understand that you were mixed in with something far bigger than yourself. The world is cruel, but this whole thing was far crueler."

"As long as you have accepted me back," I said, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my face into his shoulder, "then I can surely deal with anything else."

Father's shoulders tensed, but his arms lowered to my back and patted me comfortingly. "Alright, alright. Go back with Chanyeol and he can explain things to you however he sees fit. Whatever happens, we are here for you."

As promised, Chanyeol drove me home. When we reached his car, he opened my door and put on my seatbelt for me. As he leaned over me, his body came so close that I could smell his cologne and was overwhelmed by the comfort it brought me. "You're more chivalrous than when I left you."

"Guess I've grown," he murmured. Realizing what he said, he momentarily stilled before kissing my cheek and pulling himself back out of the car. After closing my door, he moved to his side and slid into his seat, pulling on his seatbelt and turned the ignition. The car roared to life, and after getting us out onto the road, Chanyeol set his hand down on mine and held it firmly against my lap. "I haven't treated you quite right. I want to apologize now and make things up to you."