|-TALLIE-|
[Recording begins.]
Now, I know you ain't never seen the sea, honey. I'll try to keep it short, and you can just use your imagination.
Go ahead and close your eyes. Think about an endless ocean, with water cool and salty. The sun shines on countless waves, movin' everywhere and goin' nowhere–infinity's funny like that, y'see. Got that in your head? Good girl. Now look closer and follow one wave as it moves across the sea.
There's a funny thing about waves, honey–they don't exist, not really. A wave is just a shape the water borrows for an instant. The water's the real thing, the thing with guts and weight and teeth. The wave is motion, life, energy that picks up the water and sets it a-tumblin' and a turnin'. If you're clever, that energy and shape can be yours, honey. You can use it to spin the tumblers of a machine, or ride it on a long board like sea folks do.
This is the tricky part, so pay attention. It's like that with stories too, spreadin' and changin', a shape that sends the shapeless folk a-tumblin' in one direction or another. Most times it all evens out–there's lots of waves, and lots of stories. But what if there was a big story, a big wave, stirred by somethin' deep underwater? What if there was someone who could ride a wave from place to place, and wanted to take that wave and do somethin' incredible? And most importantly, what if there was a shore, and the huge, howlin' wall of water could finally come crashin' down?
[Unintelligible noises intercut with static.]
No need to be frightened, now. It's just a picture, honey, all drew up to help you understand. It ain't real.
I'm givin' you this to help you with the next part of the story. Not about me, not yet–this is about that little boy who went into the dark and got all ate up. O'course, there weren't no boy anymore, just the water wearin' his skin and name. But boys don't just spring up outta campfires to wander off and cause mischief. They got mommas and daddies, family who care if they go off and never come back. I'm sure you understand that at least. It were the same with him. When the boy didn't come back, his momma and daddy went out lookin' for him, tryin' to find where he went.
They didn't find him. But they did find it.
Everyone knows the kind of story I'm beginning here, and it's a right spooky tale. The monster lookin' like their son goes to them with big eyes and a big pout, says I'm so sorry I wandered, momma, don't spank me to hard and I'll mind you right proper. Then the momma and daddy are so relieved they ignore the little signs that their boy ain't right, folks get ate up left right and center, and it all ends in tragedy. Then the monster drops the act and goes back to its hidey-hole in the dirt, and that's that.
The real story is this: that momma and daddy were cleverer than the ones in the spooky tale. They saw right from the start their baby boy was all gone and the monster was all that stood in front of 'em. That momma and daddy turned and ran lickety-split, cryin' and refusin' to heed the monster's call. And as awful as the hungry waters are, it was in the shape of a little boy with little boy's legs. It couldn't keep pace, and eventually it gave up.
Can you see where this is goin', honey? Cause if they'd been fooled, there would be no Idle, no you, no nothin'. The waters would have eaten the story, and that would be that. But they saw the monster for what it was, and they told their family, who told their friends and family, who told others and others, spreading out like ripples on water.
What was that story, at its core? "Stay away from here. There are evil spirits here, things that look like people but ain't, things that are rotten to their core. Avoid the badlands, for here there be dragons." And that's when I saw my chance.
