Gap Year • JIARA •

chapter 13

Kie's POV:

I was laying in John B's guest room which was technically JJ's room. It was cold and I couldn't sleep. I was leaving tomorrow and part of me wanted to stay.

I grabbed my phone and texted JJ.

Me: Come here

JJ: You come here? I'm freezing and don't want to leave the blanket

Me: Bring the blanket with you, idiot

JJ: Fuck off

Me: Pleaseeeee

JJ: Fine

JJ opened the door and came in and I moved over so he could lay down. He was freezing and I said, "I can't sleep"

"Neither could I with Pope snoring" JJ said

I laughed and said, "Do you remember that one hostel we stayed at in Amsterdam and that guy was snoring so loud. We ended up sleeping outside in the lawn chairs"

JJ laughed and said, "That was awful! Not as bad as when you got food poisoning on our overnight train and you spent all night puking"

"Don't remind me... That was awful.. Damn, we've experienced so much together" I said realizing how much I've actually done with JJ

"Only two continents left... Spring break, let's meet up in Australia"

"Sound perfect"

"And then someday, Antarctica, your dream trip"

"I would love that"

"Kie, will you please come travel with me again?"

"I wish I could, but I can't. I need to finish school so I can get a job and have my own money someday. Especially since my parents found out about us hanging out. They cut me off"

"I promise, we'd figure it all out"

"You can't promise something like that. This was never meant to be a full time thing for me. I was taking a gap year and then going to school"

"But we were having fun and then Ashley fucked it all up"

"Enough about Ashley, okay? She's a slut. I was always going to go home and go to college. Full time travel was never an option"

"Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself? Kie, I know it hurts you to talk about Ashley but I swear nothing happened... You left to go get breakfast and about ten minutes later I was ready to get out of the shower. I just had to finish washing my hair." JJ telling me the story that I didn't want to hear

"She wrapped her arms around me and started kissing my back which was weird. I went with it and then I realized it was Ashley. I immediately grabbed the towels and that's when you walked in. Nothing happened.... I thought it was you in the shower"

"There's nothing we can do to change what happened" I said trying to forget it

"I would never do that to you. That night in the igloo meant something to me. I had no intentions of even thinking about anyone else after that night. Damn it, I didn't even think about anyone else two months before that night"

I started to cry and I said, "But it's what you do, JJ. We had our one night together. It was a hook up. One night stand. One time thing."

"I didn't want it to be a one time thing, okay?! That's why I was so fucking weird that night and the next day. I didn't know how to tell you"

"Tell me what? That you want to be fuck buddies who travel the world together" I said almost yelling and then I shut up because I knew Pope and John B were asleep

"You're impossible" He said

"So are you" I said rolling over

He got up and went to leave when I stopped him and said, "You can stay in here if you want. Since Pope's snoring so loud"

"Are you sure? You seem pretty pissed"

"I am, but it's also freezing in here"

JJ laughed and got back into bed with me. We've shared a bed many times so it really wasn't that big of a deal.

When I woke up the next morning, JJ was still asleep. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep. I realized that I had been watching him sleep for a few minutes now. I got up and got ready to go to the airport.

John B said he'd take me and of course, Pope and JJ were tagging along as well. John B drove, Pope sat up front, and JJ sat in the back with me.

We didn't talk much on the way there. JJ kept looking at me but didn't talk. We arrived at the airport and John B and Pope both said goodbye. JJ got out with me and he said, "Last chance, please come with me"

"Goodbye, JJ. Have fun traveling" I said looking at him with tears in my eyes

"So this is it, huh?" He asked with tears in his eyes

"I have to go back to school"

"I don't want you to go. I know you're still really pissed at me about the whole Ashley thing and I don't blame you. I have a reputation. But just know that I would never do that to you. You were different. You weren't just a hook up. I wanted more. I had no plans of leaving you after that night in Finland"

"Yeah, well I made it easy for you and left on my own" I said still pissed about it

"Kie, listen to me. I suck at this emotional shit but I'm really trying here. The best ten months of my life have been traveling with you. I can't imagine you not being in my life. You make me feel this that I've never felt before. I'm trying to say that I'm falling in love with you and it scares me because I've never been in love before and now you're leaving..."

"I'm sorry, I can't.. I have to go. Goodbye, Jayge" I said kissing his cheek and walking away before I completely lost it

I heard JJ get back in the van and John B drive away. I went through security and got on my plane. I tried not to think about what JJ but it's all I could focus on.

He said he's falling in love with me. JJ Maybank loves me. I looked down at the ring he gave me for Christmas and smiled. I wanted to travel with him but I couldn't. I had to go back to school in California.