* We were just kids when we fell in love,
fighting against all odds,
but I know we'll be alright, this time...*
Our life was taking shape, but there were some old wounds still open:
We were seeing our parents less and less. Luckily, we were not financially dependent on them anymore.
That was the biggest dream for us- sometimes, I think, for Theo even more.
It was something that would always haunt him, not being financially independent.
Even years after he had stopped asking money from his parents.
....
Eventually, he also bought a new car.
My old banger was sold, but it was almost unusable at that point.
How many memories, though!
How many trips back and forth from our family homes to our University, on that old wreck of a car.
In the fog, in the snow.
It still gives me chills when I think about that car.
But now, we had a new car: a prettier one, with parking sensors, and bluetooth.
....
And we would invite our brothers and sisters to our place, more and more often.
Both mine, and Theo's.
For my younger brother, especially, Theo had become fully part of his family: once he told me that Theo and I had been together since he was born.
We weren't, but of course, he was too young to remember.
He was around 10, back then.
It was... somewhere around 2018.
Theo and I had been together around 8 years, then.
My little brother was passionate about computers and gaming, and of course, Theo was his idol. With his brand-new, home-built super gaming computer, and a cool desk.
Of course, we kept buying everything we could for my little brother, as well as for the others: soon, he was proudly showing off his own little gaming station.
In the meanwhile, my sister had graduated as well.
My brother had come back home, after having worked around the world for a few years.
Daniel, Theo's brother, and his girlfriend Lisa, had moved in together as well.
We would see them often, and went on holidays together.
Emma, Theo's youngest sister, had enrolled into medical school as well. She wanted to follow the footsteps of her big brother.
All in all, we were so proud of them.
Of the people they were becoming: despite the hardship that they had to overcome, early in life.
...
They visited our home often: I wanted it to be like, a sanctuary for them.
A sanctuary of love, and peace, where they could really feel at home.
Forget about their parents.
I wanted it to be an example for them, of what a loving home could be.
Sometimes, Theo told me that I spent too much time cleaning: and maybe I did.
It was a little paranoia of mines: because a dirty house meant a house without love, in my subconscious mind.
My dad's house was dirty, when he and his wife didn't need to have friends over.
Our rooms were always dirty, because they did not care about us.
And now, I wanted every single spot that my loved ones would touch, to be squeaky clean.
My family, would not live in the dirt.
Theo understood, though he kept telling me to not get too obsessive about it.
He told me that he knew I loved him, and our siblings, so much. And I would have taken care of them.
Eventually, we figured we had enough money to actually hire someone to clean our house; sometimes I was working up to 7 days a week, so I really needed to take my mind off it.
....
At first, when I was very young, in my early twenties, I didn't like the idea of having children so much.
Like, I had 3 kids already! In my view.
I loved them, but 3 were enough... I didn't want to start it all over again.
But then, slowly.
That idea started to creep into my mind.
First, there was the endometriosis, which had forced me to consider the idea of ever becoming a mother (again).
And then, just.
Life.
Going on.
The feeling that now, we could really be able to take care of someone.
That we had a house. A family.
How I liked for me and Theo to be a family for our siblings.
And Theo always told me, that he wanted to be able to give a child everything that he hadn't had.
Everything that we both hadn't had, when we were children.
That resonated with me... a lot.
It was like... a sort of revenge against life, I don't know.
Closing a circle.
Building what life thought it could have denied us: but no, not anymore.
It was our life, now.
Our family.
Our rules.
And this time, a family that I had actually chosen for myself.
YOU ARE READING
Let's hope for the best
Non-Fiction... but prepare for the worst. When I was a kid, I thought that life was going to be like a Disney movie. Then, alas, life happened. And I found out, I was not ready for it.
