That summer, I went on holiday with Theo for the first time. It was the summer after our third year; we were 21, turning 22.
We hadn't had a real holiday for years.
We were terribly excited.
We were doing it at our parents' expense- but who cared then, right?
I had thrown my dignity out of the window a long time before, anyway: since I had started accepting their money, every day after I turned 18. Every day after I finished high school.
And I was cheap to buy: a little rented apartment, tuition fees, a slim monthly allowance. And a week of holiday every 3 years, or so.
That was the price of my dignity.
....
But then, the holiday came.
It was me, Theo, his brother Daniel, and Daniel's girlfriend, Lisa.
Lisa was one of the most cheerful, lovely persons that I had ever met.
Daniel had eyes only for her.
The boys were worried sometimes, about their mother, and their sister. Home alone with their dad.
I understood the worry.
I was worried, also.
For my family.
But we had all decided, in our hearts, that we deserved to live our lives as well.
So, we packed up.
We took Theo's mum car; Theo didn't have a car of his own, and mine was an old banger.
We travelled Europe, and visited many beautiful cities. And castles.
And I was a princess: for the first time in my life.
I was like the heroine of one of my stories.
Finally writing something good in my own story, as well.
...
At the last stopover of our journey, we found a funfair.
There was a big Ferris wheel.
And I loved Ferris wheels.
Theo bought two tickets for us- Daniel and Lisa had gone somewhere else, I couldn't remember.
And so, we went on the wheel.
We watched while we slowly climbed to the top; the lights of the city under us, shining against the night sky.
We were flying then... for real, this time.
I said I loved that city, I wanted to visit it again, one day.
Theo said, he'd bring me back.
In 10 years- he promised. He'd bring me back.
Maybe we'll have a naughty little boy with us, then- I joked.
Maybe... maybe we will.
He stared at me.
Bi. I love you.
He said.
I love you, Theo. I love you too...
....
When we came back, Theo, Daniel and Lisa went on holiday with his parents- or at least, they tried.
I was sorry I didn't go to support them, but I had three other people back home, to think about.
They understood.
Lisa was an only child, with two loving, normal parents.
She didn't have other responsibilities- so, she took it upon herself to accompany them.
Hoping to slowly find a way to coexist with their father. To make him accept that there were two new people around, me, and Lisa.
And he couldn't be paranoid about it.
After a few days, Theo wrote me that Daniel and Lisa had left.
His father had been unbearable, violent, and they had no choice but to leave.
He stayed back, not to leave his mother and his sister Emma alone... again.
I understood.
....
Throughout the following years, we have begged and begged Theo's mom to take more measures to defend herself from her husband, both mentally and physically.
To talk to more doctors, increase the dosage of the medicines.
But she was helpless.
She was so eaten away by the pain, that she couldn't do anything.
....
Theo, Daniel, Lisa and I, instead, were having the time out our lives.
With that silly enthusiasm, that makes you feel like nothing bad would ever happen.
Like, bad was our past.
But the past is past;
Now, there was our future waiting for us, and we were so, so ready for it.
YOU ARE READING
Let's hope for the best
Non-Fiction... but prepare for the worst. When I was a kid, I thought that life was going to be like a Disney movie. Then, alas, life happened. And I found out, I was not ready for it.
