Your's Forever( KimChay)

Chapter : 3 - Despair

Kim's POV:

Flashback

5 years. Its been long 5 years since Porchay had left. During this time there was not a single day,not a single moment I didn’t miss him. I loved him every single second. I love him so much yet I lost him. I let him go away from me. I left Chay, hurt him, broke his heart so that I could protect him from these people and the world which consists of only blood and terror. I know this doesn't justify what I did. But Chay didn’t deserve this life. From his childhood he has suffered. No one knew but I know that he has been lonely and hurt. Even after hearing his mom being alive, Chay was not happy. He has been hurt and I have broken him even more. There was not a single moment I could supress the guilt. The guilt of hurting the only person I love the most in this entire world. My shunsine, my Porchay.

Pa wanted to use Porchay to make the Kittisawat family strong again. He wanted to manipulate Chay into his dirty little game. But I wouldn’t have let this happen. I would have killed Pa myself if it meant protecting Chay. When Pa suggested to train Chay, everyone was against it. Porsche immediately refused and put a veto on the idea. Thankfully Chay too declined the offer saying he wants to stay away from all these things. He wanted a peaceful life. Everyone agreed and Pa was saved from getting killed by me. But what shocked them the most was Porchay's announcement of leaving for Russia.

Everyone panicked but he was adhered to his decision. I was watching all these from behind the corner. It was a mess to be honest. Chay soon left the room amd I followed him. I wanted to make sure he had thought about his decision. But before I could knock on his door, I heard him talk to someone over the phone....

"Yes. I have decided. I'm leaving. I don’t want to stay in this place any longer. This place is nothing but terror and pain. I want to go away and start a new life. I want a life with no pain and betrayal."

Chay ended the call. He took a long breathe and shouted,

"It hurts...do you fucking hear me? It really hurts, u fucking bastard.I will forget you. I will unlove you. I never want to see you again, Kim Therapanyakul."

Hearing those words from Chay broke me into pieces. Tears started streaming out without me realising . I was frozen in time. But as I heard Chay coming towards the door, I quickly walk away from that place and leave the mansion hiding my broken self from anyone.

As soon as I came home, all the remaining strength left my body. My legs gave up and I fell to that ground crying. How could I continue living without seeing Chay? How could I breathe if my soul left me? I couldn’t bear it. Those words from him were like knives stabbing my heart a million times. It hurts. It really hurts. People say crying helps to reduce the pain. But with every tear drop I feel like I'm drowing. I'm drowing in the ocean of my despaire. I lost him...I lost the only star in my black sky.

"Please don't leave me Chay...I LOVE YOU....please."

I kept on crying for hours repeating these words like a mantra. I can't feel anything except pain and utter despaire. I'm alone....all alone. As the sun went down and the night came, my entire surrounding was completely dark. But I couldn’t think of anything. The darkness was similar to my broken heart. Cold and lifeless. Crying was the only thing I could do. I didn’t even realise a whole day went by and I was still on the floor. I deserved this. I deserved the pain. My baby has cried so much for me. I should die for making him suffer so much.

I was lost in my thoughts until my phone rang. I ignored it for the first time. But then it hit me, what if its Chay? With that little hope I pulled my phone out of my pocket and to my surprise it really was Chay. My angel, my star calling me. I quickly wiped off my tears and composed myself and answered the call.

"Hello Porchay."

"Sawadee Krub."

Chay's voice was as cold as ice. But I was glad that he even called. It was a miracle.

"Can we meet?"

"Ofcourse. Where do you want to meet? Should I pick...."

Before I could finish my sentence, Chay cut me off...

"7 p.m. The place where it all began. Be there."

I hurriedly got up and saw the time. It was already 5:30. I went to the bathroom and took a shower. Chay shouldn’t see me like this. If he wanted to go away from this life and be happy,  I will let him do so. I will never hold him back for my selfish self. But I want to meet him one last time. I want to hear his voice one last time. I really want to. Even if he can unlove me, I can never stop loving him. Because he is the reason why I was born. I was born to love Porchay.

I arrived at the meeting place. It was still 6:30.  Even though Porchay didn’t tell me the exact loaction I knew what he meant. It was the music room. I was nervous but slowly went inside. This place holds our memories. Every corner of this room has Chay's presence in it. This is place where I fell in love with this little angel. Thinking of the past full of happiness, a single drop of tear ran down my cheeks.

"You are early."

As I heard Chay's voice, I wiped off my cheeks and composed myself. I was nervous but I kept my cool and faced him. His eyes they were cold. It scared me.

"Chay. How are you?"

"None of your business. As you already know I'm moving to Russia, I wanted to return this."

Chay pointed at the guitar and handed it to me.

"Why? It's yours. I can't take it Chay."

"Porchay. My name is Porchay. And I don’t want to keep any favours from you. So take it. Keeping it or throwing it is upto you."

I couldn’t reply anything. He even took my right to call him Chay. Its breaking me. Please Chay don't look at me like that. I was trembling. But as I approached him he shocked me. I was taken aback by what he just did. He kissed me. Those soft lips of his were on mine. I could feel his breathe on my chin. His eyes closed. But soon he pulled away.

" Don't look so surprised. You kissed me once, I'm returning it. We are even now."

I was so shocked and mesmerised at the same time that I couldn’t react. But Chay started waking away. As he opened to door, he looked back with a emotionless stare

"Please leave me alone. Don't make your people follow me anymore. I'm tired. Do this last favour for me Phi'Kim."

He walked away.

How could I not pay heed to his request. Okhay Chay. From now on I will never intervene with your life. I will leave you. I promise.
That was the last time I saw him and for 5 years I have been waiting for his one glimpse.

Present:

As I heard Porchay is going to return today, I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to see him. My life which was colorless and aimless wanted a glimpse of light. That why I sneaked into the major family mansion and hid in the corridors. After Pa died, I hacked into the main server. So it was easy to control the cameras.

Soon after I hid, I saw a tall figure. It was him. My Porchay. He has grown into a handsome man. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. The leather jacket, his white tees and the pants, everything hugging his body so perfectly defining his figure. He looked perfect. My heart beated so fast that it could even beat a horse in a race. Within only a few seconds, I fell in love with Chay again. It was love at first sight again. I stared at him the entire time he walked towards his room. As he went inside  the room he opened his door again and put up a ' Do Not Disturb ' sign on the door. How cute. This habit of his didn’t change. I chucked. My Porchay is so adorable.
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Author: Thank you for reading. I'm really greatful for the love and support everyone is giving me❤️❤️❤️ Please keep supporting me like this. And do let me know your opinions.🙏