♠ ♦ Alice in Borderland ♣ ♥

13

I feel so much at once that I don't really know how to feel.

Soran is still alive. In spite of everything, that is the first thing I can think of and the first thing I feel going through my body in the form of relief and release. I'm not losing him. Then, I think of the three boys who lost their lives during this game, when they shouldn't have. And the cause of that is right in front of me. 'Assholes!' I call out to them. 'They're dead because of you!' Even after the game, they have no remorse for what they have done. 'It's a shame there weren't more,' Brownsuit replies. Now Soran must do his best not to fend off his attacks, but to stop me just in time. Not that I could've done much; probably my fist would hurt more than Brownsuit's face, but I'm so mad I can't hold myself back anymore.

'You're a spirited lady,' he responds with a wink. 'Not just the beauty and the brains, then.'

'Kenshin,' Redsuit mumbles, 'let's go. I'm sure Hatter would be happy with a few more five of diamonds.' Yellowsuit has also been added in the meantime. 'Besides, there's a party.' Laughing they walk towards the escalator, but then Brownsuit looks back at us, or rather at me. It's clear to see that he has mixed feelings. On the one hand he's still mad at my trick, but on the other it seems like he finds me very interesting because of it. I also know exactly why. What I have driven him to with my words is a perfect fit for a hearts player. 'You're always welcome at the Beach, sweetheart,' he says with a wink. 'You wanted to kill her just a minute ago!' Redsuit exclaims, shaking his head. I can't understand the answer, but I can hear all four of them laughing as they disappear from my field of view.

How can you be like this? This has already been my fourth game and every time I think it couldn't get any worse, it proves otherwise. There are players in Borderland who get a kick out of hurting someone else and don't shy away from letting them die.

'Kairi, are you o-' Soran begins, but I interrupt him by wrapping my arms around him tightly. He is still alive! My body is filled with relief from that fact. When he puts his arms around me too, I can still feel his body trembling with fear and terror. That's not immediately out of his system, just like I'm also being worked up. I let go of him and glare at him. 'Would you never want to do such a thing in the future again?! You can't help me, until you're safe yourself!'

He is stunned by my sudden outburst. 'If you'd gone straight to that store, you'd have found that stupid camera right away, before that jerk could steal it!' I can see in his eyes that he absolutely doesn't think so, but I'm torn open by a feeling of guilt. He almost died because of me. He doesn't respond to my screams. 'Thanks,' he says from the bottom of his heart, 'you saved me again.'

'What "again"?! You act like I'm some hero who keeps saving things!' I hate yelling at him like that, especially with an awkward Yuki next to us, but I'm so frustrated that I almost lost Soran that I feel awful. I don't want to yell at him; I'm just so relieved that he's still here. My anger disappears when I look up at his facial expression and I want to apologize for my outburst, but he speaks up. 'That's because I see you like that,' he says. 'You saved me more than once.' From the way he speaks, I can tell he's not just referring to our time here in Borderland. He's talking about real life. I was so busy freaking out that I didn't even think about how he must be feeling right now. He nearly lost his life and he only had two minutes to realize it. Again I wrap my arms around him. 'I'm so glad you're still here.'

Only when I let go of him and feel my anger ebb away, I notice an uneasy atmosphere. 'Uhm, thanks,' Yuki then mumbles to me. That's right; I helped him twice. I don't really know what to say. First there was no time to talk and now I don't have the words anymore. That's why I just nod.

'They were wearing Swimsuits,' I tell Soran when I remind myself of our mission, 'just like Haruto and the others. They also talked about the Beach.' My cousin looks at Yuki with a slanted eye, as if he wants to say we shouldn't be talking about it in front of him now, but Yuki is already interested. 'Are you looking for the Beach?' he asks. Judging by his voice, he has also invested some time in the subject. 'Yes,' I say, to which I correct my answer in: 'Maybe.' I'm not saying that because I don't want to give him that information, but because after tonight I honestly have my doubts about whether I want to look for it. If there are such people as the foursome staying there, I shouldn't be there. 'You?' I ask him. He shrugs and suddenly seems distant. 'I should get some stuff before the power goes out again,' he says as he heads for the escalator. I don't see why we should take something electronic that won't work anyway, so I chase after him, followed by Soran.