All The Shadows We Made

Chapter 28 - March - Jamie

March

Jamie

I have no idea how many days it's been since everything went down. It's all a never-ending blur. Wake up, drink, go to school, drink if I can, come home, drink, go to sleep. I don't want to know. What's the point in knowing exactly how long I've been miserable?

I haven't said a word to Kat since the park. Just like I asked, my stuff was waiting in my locker the next day. She'd left a note too, which I tore up and threw in the hallway trash. I regretted that pretty much immediately, but I also wasn't going to be the guy digging around in the school trash, so I'm just adding that to my list of reasons to stay shit-faced, along with missing her, wishing I wasn't missing her, and pretending I don't see how goddamn sad she is when I pass her in the halls.

Mags and I didn't talk before the party, so there hasn't been any reason to start now. It's not like Shaggy and Velma solved The Case of the Conniving Cheaters and now we're a team or something. We were always the two odd people out. There was Mickey and me, and Kat and me, and Maggie and Kat, and Kat and Mickey, and Maggie and Mickey. But other than that one night, there wasn't ever a Jamie and Maggie. We nod at each other in the halls, and every now and then one of us mumbles out a greeting. That's it. The end.

Or that's what I thought, anyway. For the last couple days, every time Maggie sees me, she looks like she wants to talk but can't figure out the words. Whatever it is, I wish she'd just spit it out.

It's the Friday before Spring Break when she finally does. I'm standing at my locker waiting for the wall clock to say 12:57, because leaving any earlier means I might run into Kat on her way to English, when Maggie comes up and starts scuffing one foot against the hallway floor. I just roll my eyes. All I want is to make it through this last day and go home and sleep for a week. I'm in no mood for this shit.

"Hey," she finally says.

I close my locker a little harder than absolutely necessary. "Hey. What's up?"

Maggie sighs. She tucks her hands into the pocket of her worn out black hoodie. It's way too baggy and on closer inspection it's obviously one of Mickey's. "I hate being the messenger, but Mickey wants me to ask if you'll come over."

"Why?"

"He's, um..." Maggie kicks at the ground again. "Well, we're leaving soon. After graduation anyway. And he doesn't want to leave with things all shitty like they are."

"How are you guys managing that?"

"What?"

"How are you guys leaving?" Last I knew, neither of them had a job or a car or even anywhere else to go.

"Chuck fixed up the beater in the garage for us. It's an early birthday present."

"That old green piece of shit?"

Maggie laughs her quiet little laugh. "Yep, that's the one."

"Well, good for you guys."

Maggie shrugs. "We'll see. Hopefully, I guess." She brushes her long, blond hair out of her eyes and sighs again. "Look, if you don't want to come see him, I get it. Like, I really, really get it. But it would mean a lot."

It's my turn to shrug. "I dunno. We'll see."

The bell blares. Maggie hoists her messenger bag a little higher up her shoulder. "He's doing a lot better lately, I think. And he may never say this, but I know he misses you. For what that's worth." She walks off down the hall before I can even think of a reply.

I have no idea what to do. On the one hand, I miss Mickey like crazy. Eddie and Sam are great and all, but it's just not the same as with Mickey. It never has been. On the other hand, he slept with my girl. But as a counter to that, I did punch him in the nose, which kind of makes us even. And even though he hasn't said sorry, maybe he will now if I give him a chance?