All The Shadows We Made

Chapter 14 - December - Maggie

December

Maggie

Mickey's already bouncing around like a Jack in the Box when I wake up. It's a Friday in the middle of December. We've both been sleeping in later and later the less daylight comes through his window, but he's up and dressed even though the sun isn't even peeking over the horizon yet. Considering he's spent most of the last week and a half since his fight with Jamie moping around and sleeping at odd hours, waking up to a cup of coffee under my nose is actually kind of weird.

"Baby, baby, wake up!" he exclaims. "I made your favorite!"

I groan. "What time is it?"

"It's almost seven! Come on, get up!"

I accept the cup, already grateful for it's warmth. The furnace worked overtime the last couple of days, and it still hasn't dispelled the chill permeating the entire house. The high yesterday was a whopping five degrees.

I take a sip of my coffee and almost gag. Mickey apparently went for the give you a heart attack side of the coffee strongness spectrum this morning.

"Did I make it too strong for you again?"

"Uff. Just a little."

"Oops, sorry."

"No big. Here, hold this." I gesture for him to take the cup and slide out of bed. My arms immediately goosebump and I rub them to get warm. "Holy hell, it's cold in here."

Mickey wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and reaches out his arms, splashing coffee all over the once-beige carpet. "Come here, baby. I'll keep you warm."

Normally, I'd be all about that, but I'm not fully awake and this new, energetic Mickey has me thrown. Yesterday he was in the same spot on the couch when I came home that he was when I left for school. We haven't gone anywhere or seen anyone since his fight with Jamie. I'm getting really annoyed, if I'm being honest. I'm supposed to be the introvert here, not Mickey. So instead of smiling and throwing myself in his arms, which would just splash more coffee anyway, I roll my eyes and start putting on my clothes. "I have to go to school, babe."

Mickey's face falls. Ugh, he's so touchy lately. "Aw, come on. Look how bad it is outside. You won't see an ounce of sunshine all day." He pushes his lower lip out into an exaggerated pout. "Stay with me. Pleeeaaase?"

I almost consider it. Tree branches are bending back and forth outside the window and the glimpse I catch of the thermometer outside reads something like ten degrees. It would be so much easier to crawl back into bed, especially with someone else in it to help keep me warm.

"Come on. Just you and me, snug and warm, all day long."

That decides it. I know Mickey thinks it's a tempting offer, but truly, hanging out with him hasn't been much fun lately. Listening to music in the dark or watching movies in silence is only my idea of a good time for so long.

I sound like a bitch. I know that, really. But after he yelled at me, berated Kat, and pissed Jamie off so badly that he still hasn't been back by, I've stopped asking if he's okay. And he hasn't wanted to talk. At least I assume he hasn't, judging by all the silence. Even though he's weirdly hyper at the moment, and so maybe we'd do more than play the same albums over and over again, I don't care enough to find out.

I take my cup of coffee back and drain it dry. "I can't stay. You know that." I head into the kitchen. Mickey follows me out like a kicked puppy.

"Please, Maggie? Just stay home today."

"The school would call my parents, Mickey. I know they barely pay any attention to where I am, but my mom will kill me if I start missing school."

"Fuck your parents."

No, fuck you, the little voice in my head replies. I don't say that, though. I just sigh and grab a package of strawberry Pop-Tarts from the cupboard. "Nah, I'd rather not. That would be creepy." I grab my messenger bag and my coat. "I'll be back this afternoon."

"Fiiiiine," Mickey says, crossing his arms. His eyes are strangely dark as I turn to leave.

I munch my strawberry-filled goodness on the way to school, wondering vaguely what got into Mickey this morning and if it'll be the same when I get back. I hope so. Maybe I can convince him to go see Jamie or call Kat or something. All of us not hanging out feels really weird.

Kat greets me at the park, bundled up so heavily that only the oval of her face is visible under her giant fluffy hat and scarf. Jamie is nowhere to be seen. "You have crumbs in your hair," she says, reaching out with a purple-gloved hand. "Come here." She brushes pastry bits off of me with one hand, accidentally blowing smoke in my face from the cigarette she's holding in the other.

"Thanks," I say. "No Jamie?"

"Nope. He's working on his top secret project before school." She smiles and takes another drag. "It's been almost two weeks now, did you know?"

"Really? That's amazing!" Kat told me that Mr. Schmidt basically threatened him into sobriety, but two weeks is better than he's done since probably eighth grade.

"I know, right?" Kat lowers her voice a little and leans towards me. As usual, she smells like flowers. It's a nice scent in the middle of winter. "So how's he doing?"

We both know 'he' means Mickey. "Weirdly good today, actually. He was up before me and made coffee and everything."

"Huh. Well, better than sitting on the couch all day, right?"

"Yeah, for sure."

"I know I should call or something, but..." Kat shakes her head and throws her spent cigarette into a nearby snowbank.

"No worries, dude."

"Plus, he and Jamie haven't made up yet and that would just be weirder somehow."

The five minute bell rings and we head across the parking lot. "I get it. Really. He probably does, too. Who knows?"

The rest of the day passes by in a blur of nothing. Kat and I annoy our English teacher by pointing out lewd jokes in Hamlet that I think she was hoping no one would notice, and get a note confiscated in World Geography. We get tagged out as quickly as possible in dodgeball and sit on the sidelines making fun of the really popular girls along with Jenny Schwartz, who is basically the only other girl we talk to, and only because she was my best friend before Kat came along. Kat heads off to Spanish IV alone after gym, and Jenny and I head to seventh period. We're seated alphabetically, so Jenny is right behind me. That's how we met in kindergarten. We're not great friends anymore, she's moved up a couple rungs on the popularity ladder and her friends irritate me to no end, but we still talk every now and again.

"Hey," Jenny says tentatively once we're seated, "so I didn't want to ask while Kat was around because I know she can't come, but I'm having a girls sleepover tonight. Wanna join?"

I shrug, unsure. Part of me really wants to do something that isn't sitting in the dark, but another part of me isn't sure Mickey should be left alone. "Ummmm...Maybe," I say, stalling for time. "Who else is going?"

Jenny names a couple other girls, Alex Cunningham and Marie Olsen, we used to hang out with back in middle school. Well, that I used to hang out with anyway. Jenny still does. I ditched them all for Kat. "Come on, it'll be fun," she says. "We got some rom coms and some Mike's Hard and we'll paint each other's nails and shit." She wiggles one eyebrow up and down. "You know you wanna."

I think about going to Jenny's, where her mom will have laid out snacks for us in her big living room and watching girly movies on their flat-screen TV and how her dad usually cooks pancakes in the morning, or used to anyway when we were young, and I contrast it with going back to that dark house and a boyfriend who may or may not be a pain in the ass. "Yeah, all right," I say. "Can I get a ride over after school? It's way too fucking cold to walk."

Jenny smiles. "Sure thing!"

"Awesome." I smile back and face the front.

Mickey can live by himself for one night. It's time to go have some fun.