As I Fall Asleep- Joshua Bassett

Chapter 38

After a hot shower and getting into my pajamas, I open the door quietly, as not to wake josh in case he's asleep.

The lights on and joshua is sitting on my bed, scrolling on his phone.

I walk out brushing my hair and am surprised to watch josh put his phone down then motion for me to come towards him.

I oblige and sit on top of my covers, with my back pressed to his chest. I continue brushing my hair until josh takes the hair brush from me and resumes bushing my hair.

My head falls back in relaxation. When was the last time somebody other than myself brushed my hair? It has to have been when I was younger and my mom would brush my hair.

He finishes brushing my hair and sets the brush down. I'm about to get up but stop when his fingers return to my head. While I thought the feeling of to brush going through my hair felt good, it pales in comparison to the feeling of Josh's soft, but firm, fingers massaging my scalp.

I sigh and lean into him even more, my head hitting his chest. His hands move from my hair to my arms, lightly scratching them. I shiver at his touch and I feel him let out a small laugh.

For some reason, the action of being pressed against him and him running his hands up and down my arms feels more intimate than any kiss we've shared.

I should tell him to stop, at least until we talk things out and decide what our relationship is. After enjoying the physical touch for a few more minutes, I decide to tell him we need to stop. I'm confused enough as it is.

I angle my head up to tell him as such. I guess josh thought I was going for something else because the second my lips come closer to his face, they are enveloped by the warmth of his lips.

I melt into the kiss.

I caress his face and open my mouth. That sensual tongue of his dances in sync with mine, causing me to lose track of my surroundings and feeling as if his touch was the only thing keeping me grounded. Nothing else matters but his lips on mine.

I break away from the kiss much dinner than I'd like to, but I know it's for the best.

"We can't keep doing this," I tell josh.

"I know," he says, pressing his forehead to mine and breathing heavily.

"Josh..."

He lifts his head and looks at me.

"We need to talk about this. About us." I say.

He nods, "You're right," he takes a breath to begin the conversation, but I cut him off, suddenly full of anxiety.

"Wait," I say. "We should talk in the morning. It's really late and we should sleep."

He lets out a breath of... relief? Acceptance? Maybe annoyance?

"In the morning," he agrees. I don't detect any annoyance so I relax a bit, glad I didn't make him mad.

I face forward and lean back once again, and the steady rise and fall of his breaths lull me to sleep.

***

I don't stay that way for very long. I wake up with tears on my cheeks and my chest rising and falling rapidly.

Im so focused on the pounding in my head and chest that it takes me a minute to realize josh is still holding me, whispering in my ear, "it's okay. You're okay."

I quickly wipe off the tears. "I'm fine."

After a few bests of silence, josh asks, "do you want to talk about it?"