Super Glitches 5: The Soldier's Vow

Stop That Bandit!

Days later and I was still shackled to the wall. I was running on empty, refusing to eat the slop that was put in front of us. My energy was low and every three seconds my eyes started to shut.

"Food," our prison guard grunted, shoving three plates through the small gap in the iron-bar door. Rebecca walked over and picked them up, handing them out. Georgina took hers with her usual sigh of pain and disappointment. Then she giggled, a shred of Tigger bouncing back into her life.

"What is it?" I yawned, keeping my eyes open long enough to look at my plate. I rolled my eyes and smiled slightly. Sat in the middle of my metal dish was a single, orange pepper.

"Very funny," I said, kneeling up and knocking on the bars with my head. "Hey! I'm talking to you! Ah, what's the point..." I sat back and stared down at the bowl.

"If I work out how to eat this, is it cannibalism?" I wondered aloud.

"It's my role to be random," Georgina chided me, dragging herself over. "And I guess it would be."

"At least we don't have Dr Pepper to drink," Rebecca said, limping over, one arm close to her side. Again my eyes rolled and again Tigger echoed around the cell.

"Hey, you know who you remind me of?" Georgina said.

"Who...?"

"Peppa Pig!"

Both girls fell about with laughter - not literally, they were too injured to move - whereas I just lowered my head and sighed deeply.

"But seriously," Georgina said tiredly, wiping a tear from her eye. "You do remind me of someone."

"Do I want to know who?"

"Yes!"

"Alright... Who?"

"Robert Downey Junior," Georgina said thoughtfully. "You look like a younger version of him. See, you're even beginning to get the stubble."

"What?" I sprang to my feet, ignoring the screams from my legs. Staggering over to the small pan of water we had in the corner I looked at my reflection, angling my face to catch the light.

"Oh God," I murmured, wishing that my hands weren't broken at the wrist. "Oh dear Lord. I'm ageing a lot quicker than I thought."

"It's just shadowing," Rebecca said. "Nothing major. But you do look funny."

"How do I remind you of Robert Downey Jr?" I demanded, scuttling back over to Georgina and glaring at her. "He's what, fifty?"

"But he looks about thirty," she pointed out. "And you resemble him quite a lot, y'know."

"How?"

"You both have dark eyes and windswept, slightly messy hair," she began. "You're both relatively short, you both have long eyelashes and you both have the same stubble. But he has a proper beard."

"Stop reminding me of that," I said through gritted teeth, referring to my supposed stubble. Georgina ignored me and continued.

"You're both pretty damn awesome, you're both superheroes-"

"Iron Man isn't real, Georgina," Rebecca sighed. "How many times?"

"He is real to me!" Georgina cried defensively. "Anyway, you're both superheroes in fiction or real life, you both suit the colour grey and other darker shades, and you're both sort of crazy." She smiled brightly and leaned her head against the wall. "Being Robert Downey Jr is a good thing. He's fabulous."

"I'm just focusing on all the compliments," I murmured. "And ignoring the rest."

"You've both gone insane," Rebecca said fearfully. "Someone help me."