"I want black walls."
"Really? Black? No way", I replied.
"What do you suggest?"
"I want cream and white...maybe blue accents."
"God no, too bring, it'll burn my eyes out."
"But it looks so amazing!"
"Ugh, can we still keep the bedroom black?"
"I'll think about it", I smiled into my pillow. I think he knew because when he said "Alright", I heard the smile in his voice too.
"We can have black kitchen counters if you want. The kitchen is your thing anyway, I don't cook."
He laughed at that. His bubbling laughter. Like the first breeze after the rain, you could never have enough of it. The laugh only I ever heard. He sounded younger, sweeter. And it was true. I had no idea how to cook, but he was good at it. I was still holding him up to his promise of making me breakfast in bed one day. The truth was, I didn't care if he was good or bad. If he wanted to cook, the kitchen was his. If he wanted to cook for me, I'd eat. And I'd be happy to do so without a second thought. Whatever made him smile.
This was who I was these days. Seeing him smile was the greatest luxury for me. And hearing his voice at the end of the day felt like all my troubles were slowly creeping back, leaving only the light feeling of breathless giddiness. I wondered how I would've felt about this an year ago. Funny how you can do a complete 180 in life and become someone you love being, in such a short time.
"Are you sleepy?", he whispered it. I knew that tone. He was trying to say it lightly, but I knew he was hoping I'd say no. Hoping I'd stay and talk for a while longer.
"Not really", I rose from my bed and walked over to my bedroom mirror. I was still getting used to the girl I saw staring back at me. My hair were messed up from lying about, and my glasses were askew. My cheeks were flushed and my eyes alight. I was smiling faintly, but smiling nevertheless.
"Good..."
I knew he was smiling too. I'd learned how to tell when he smiled, you could tell it from his voice. And he smiled for the whole time we talked. And I won't admit it to his face, but so did I.
***
My love,
I wanna have adventures with you. And judge other people with you. And try weird new things. And swing on swing sets with you. And ask you to decide which outfit I should wear. Then wear something else cause you'll ask me to wear blue shoes with a red sweatshirt.
Love ALWAYS
M<3
***
5 May 2021.
"I was waiting, I thought you fell asleep."
"Yeah right, As if I sleep anymore"
He laughed at that.
"How was your day?"
***
Dumbass,
There's always crowds outside of the school gate.
There's noise and there's the happiness of a tiring day that ended.
There's laughter and there's plans made.
And then there's me
In a corner
I told dad to be early , it's lonely at the gate
Through the rush of the crowd no one notices the only girl who stands till the last.
But then there is you.
You who was always on time.
You who stood there waiting for me.
You who had no business but never let me feel that alone.
Maybe the world forgot I was standing there
But in your eyes it was only ever me.
Not a wispy shadow not just another person.
For you I was a reason to keep coming back.
With all my love
m<3
YOU ARE READING
Letters
RomanceMae has a life. A good one. She has a best friend, and a nice job and a nice house and a nice car. But nice has never been enough, when she once had the world in the palm of her hands. The day she first held Penn, she realized nothing would ever be...
