The Lieutenant's Candidate

Chapter XII

Even though Kelly Severide and Jasmine Medina had a non-verbal agreement to let their feelings guide them and not put a label on their relationship, the two hadn't spoken until their next shift - two days after her sister's birthday party.

They hadn't had a fight, but neither of them felt like texting the other. Jasmine, for one, was afraid. Afraid that if she texted the man between shifts, the no label would turn into a label. And that was where things got messy. She didn't want to message the man for fear that if she did, she'd end up over at his house, in his bed, and much sleep wouldn't be happening.

But part of Jasmine wanted to spend every moment over at Kelly's house. To spend all of the time in his arms, his breath tickling her neck. She didn't have much self-restraint when it came to the man but not texting him seemed easy for some reason. If she just stayed away from her phone and made herself busy at the hospital or around her apartment, she could distract herself enough.

When she arrived at Firehouse 51 the day of her next shift, she pulled up against the street curb just as Kelly Severide exited his Camaro.

"Hey," He calls to her, walking over and opening the passenger side door for her so she could pull her duffle bag from the seat.

"Hey," she answers with a smile, slinging the bag over her shoulder before following the man up the road.

"Were you avoiding me?"

Jasmine smiles slightly, glancing over at the man. "Yes. And no. Not intentionally, at least. I just got so busy at the hospital and ... I don't have much self-restraint when it comes to you."

"You have that problem too?" Kelly asks with a smirk, making eye contact with the woman.

A blush rose on the woman's face as she gave a slight nod.

It was almost comforting to know that they both lacked self-restraint when it came to the other. It was hard to resist, hard to keep their hands off of each other. With mutual pining for each other, there was also mutual fear.

Fear that it would end badly, fear that they would lose their jobs, fear that they would be separated.

When they walked into the firehouse, it was as if all hints of romantic relationships vanished, which was precisely what they wanted. If anyone found out, they both doubted that it would end well. And realistically speaking, Jasmine would lose her job before they even considered Kelly losing his job. She was lowest on the ladder when it came to inside the Firehouse, Kelly was almost the highest, not to mention how respected his father was in the CFD.

Alejandro Medina's legacy wouldn't be able to save his daughter if her relationship with Kelly Severide became known.

The lieutenant and the candidate headed to the locker room together, keeping a safe enough distance from each other to not raise suspicion. The feeling of having the other next to them felt like enough, considering the risks.

They changed in silence, their eyes saying enough as they scanned each other's bodies before quickly looking away before the other realized.

Kelly, however, was not strong enough to resist sliding his hand across the small of Jasmine's back as he passed by her on his way out of the locker room.

It sent shivers down her spine but she found herself wanting to lean back into his touch. But he had already walked past her and out of the locker room.

A sigh left her mouth as she realized that this was killing her. She wasn't able to touch him, to feel him like she wanted to. And it was damaging. But Jasmine gained her composure, slipped her shirt over her head, and headed out of the locker room.

He's my boss, it's unprofessional, I need to get over this, the woman kept repeating in her head even though it felt like the same message she had been telling herself over and over again. Somehow, the message never seemed to properly get through her head no matter how often she said it.

A part of her felt disappointed when she didn't see Kelly standing at the coffee pot pouring himself his usualy cup of coffee. She leaned against the counter where the coffee pot was sitting and glanced out the double doors to see if she could see him sitting at the Squad table. But his chair was pushed out and empty. She figured he must've gone to his office and knew that going to check would end badly.

Jasmine hated herself for this. For scouring the firehouse just for a glimpse of the man. A glimpse that sent her heart racing, gave her that fuzzy feeling from head-to-toe.

"What's on your mind?" Dawson appeared next to the candidate, snapping her out of her own mind.

All Jasmine did was glance over at the woman to give her the idea of what was on her mind.

"Ah," the paramedic nodded, a small smile resting on her face.

"This feels different, Gaby, different than any other man I've been with. I've never wanted anyone this much," the younger woman confessed, turning to face the other. "It physically hurts."

"That's called falling in love, Jasmine," Gaby spoke quietly, both of their voices hushed.

"I can't," she shook her head. "Not yet, not with him."

"Honey, you've already started," Dawson gave the woman an almost sympathetic glance. Dawson was definitely one who knew the feeling of falling in love with someone who you couldn't have - she'd known the entire time that Casey had been with Hallie. And it did hurt - emotionally, physically, mentally. And there was nothing you could do. Branching out and dating other people didn't work. Even when you were with someone else, your mind was always on that one person. When you ended things, your mind instantly wanted to seek comfort in the one person you couldn't have.

"I'm scared," Medina confessed, her gaze falling to the floor, her voice weaker than before. "Not just of falling in love with him but losing my job, not being able to do this."

"I know," Gaby nodded with a small smile. "Falling in love is the scariest thing out there, Jasmine. But we're all programed to do it. And I think that's the scariest part.

"What do I do?"

"The only thing I can think of telling you is to move on. But I know how little that works. If anything, it'll make you want him more."

Jasmine nodded, wiping the tear that had fallen down her cheek quickly before she thought Dawson had noticed. But the paramedic had definitely noticed.

"We'll go to Molly's tonight, okay? See if we can't find you a guy," Gaby winked at the candidate, trying to lighten up the mood before she walked out to the apparatus floor to find Shay.

Leslie Shay was not a fan of the idea of a relationship between the lieutenant and his candidate. It wasn't that she didn't like Jasmine, she thought very highly of the younger woman. She knew that Kelly and his love life was not worth losing this job.

"Shay?" the blonde heard her partner call her voice and she pushed open the unloading doors of the ambulance to find Dawson standing there. "This is killing her, Shay," Dawson continued as she climbed into the ambulance box and closed the door. "Her relationship with Kelly."

"I tried, Dawson, I really did. She didn't listen."

"She's young, Shay, she's prone to falling in love. We basically live with these people, what did you expect?"

Shay remained silent. She knew that Dawson would sympathetize with Medina more than she could.

"She was crying over him, Shay, in the middle of the common room. I watched a tear fall down her face. It's hurting her and she's already falling in love with him."

The blonde didn't say a thing once more. She could see in the way that Jasmine looked at the lieutenant that she was falling in love with him.

"Kelly's going to break her heart. You know him. She's young and pretty - it's nothing new."

Gaby nodded, a diminshed look on her face. She had come to Shay hoping that the blonde would be able to talk some sense into Severide but it didn't seem like Shay would even consider it.