Into the Sweet Darkness - Aizen Sousuke Love Story

Chapter 45 - Forgiveness

Sana pov:

I walked out, following the guard. My heart was still hurting like there were a million knives pushed through me and being twisted and turned to make each stab even more painful than the previous one. It was hard to breathe, it was hard to walk; I felt suffocated. Clutching the fabric above my heart, I leaned sideways against the wall as my knees felt weak. I shut my eyes tightly letting my hair cover my face so that no one would see my eyes that were probably becoming puffy and red again.

I bit my lip hard holding in pathetic whimpers that wanted to escape. "Sana dono? Are you alright?" Tensa had returned to watch me with Kaito. They didn't seem to hate me as much as they did when they were first assigned to watch me. In fact, they seemed a little friendlier around me. Its not that we spoke much, but the atmosphere wasn't tense and gloomy anymore.

I stayed silent for a few minutes calming the raging storm in my heart and finally looked up. "I'm fine.....just a little dizzy." I said in a low monotone voice. They didn't look too convinced because they obviously saw my puffy eyes but they just shook their head and led me to the next prison where Ichimaru san was being held.

We reached in a few minutes. It was an underground prison too but it wasn't a sealed off and gloomy as the place Sousuke was being kept in. The ceilings were really high and I looked up at the ceiling level windows. It reminded me quite a bit of Hueco Mundo and many happy and unhappy memories of my time there crushed me again. I sighed, looking down and shaking my head at my hopelessness. I cant believe I was so weak hearted.....to be affected this way when I saw something that just reminded me of my time with Sousuke.

We stopped in front of a cell and the door was opened for me. "You have ten minutes." The person at the door told me. I nodded with a fake smile and stepped into the cell. "Is it already meal time?" I couldn't help but chuckle softly at Ichimaru san's question in surprise. When I came into view for him, he went blank for a moment before giving a sad and apologetic smile himself. "Sana chan....I wasn't expectin' you ta come see me. Not that I'm not happy ta see ya."

I walked closer to him with another soft chuckle and sat down in front of him. He was chained to the wall and there were seals on all the chains that went into the wall. He was wearing a white prisoner haori and hakamas but he didn't really look sad being this way. We sat in silence for the first few minutes as I stared at my hands on my lap. "I'm sorry...." I don't know why I apologized but I just felt like I had to. "What are ya apologizin' for, Sana chan?" "I don't know.....I just....I don't know, Ichimaru san." I looked up at him, his smile faltering as he saw my tear filled eyes.

I looked away, swallowing thickly to try and get the tears to stop collecting in my eyes. "You really loved him, dintcha?" I clenched my jaw and my fists at his question. It hurt so much to think about it. My lips quivered; the effort to hold back the tears failing miserably despite how much I tried. I was so embarrassed at myself that I turned away from Ichimaru san and covered my face with my arms, rubbing my eyes furiously and biting my tongue to hold in violent hiccups.

"Sana chan....please don't cry. I'm not used to seein' you like this and I cant bear to watch you like this...." He said in a gentle voice. I could hear the chains as he moved to place a reassuring hand on my shoulder. He patted my shoulder silently for a few moments until I calmed down and I finally looked back at him; my eyes red and puffy and my face just as embarrassing a sight to see. Ichimaru san only smiled and ruffled my head a little. "You'll be okay, Sana chan. And thanks to you, I am too."

I looked up at him, a little surprised at his words. He was okay? How was being locked up and chained to the wall like this okay? It definitely didn't look okay to me!

He noticed my gaze go to the chains on the wall and he chuckled. "These chains are what I deserve. And I don't mind them at all. I got to see Rangiku smile....that's what I'm happy for." "No....you don't deserve these chains. You did all this to watch over her and Soul Society. You knew Sousuke was bad....right from the beginning....just like me. But the difference between us, was the courage you had and that I lacked.....and.....the way he became my weakness." I looked down with a rather heavy burden filled guilty heart.