One Summer with the Sinner (Monteverde Series 5)

34

Chapter Thirty-Four

Asheng's eyes are tinged with red. Her voice was laced with so much sadness and worry as she asked me where I've been. She must have asked me that thrice now, but I still can't bring myself to speak amidst all the confusion going on inside my mind. My coherence is nowhere to be found. The last bit of my sanity wanted to unravel as it tried to comprehend what is happening right now. I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came out.

Asheng started speaking again, telling me how sorry she was that she lied, how sorry she was that she didn't do anything for us, and how sorry she was that it took her awhile to realize. I don't understand what the apologies and tears are for. From the tone of her voice, I could tell that she was hurting, but why would she?

She said she doesn't love me.

But if she doesn't, why would she be here, in Madrid, standing in front of me?

Why would she be telling me that she's missed me?

Why would she be wrapping her arms around me like... like she longed for me?

"Asheng." Her name was the first thing I said when I found my voice. "What... What are you doing here? You're far away from home. You're... You're in Madrid." I sounded stupid stating the obvious, but those sentences were the best my confused brain could muster.

"I..." She bit her lip, swallowed, and blinked back her tears. "I went after you."

My throat felt parched. "Why would you do that?" My heart is drumming inside my chest, and I am deafened by its beating once more. I mentally asked it to stop, but she's here, and so it wouldn't listen, because my heart is not mine to control – it was hers. It has always been hers.

"Because I lied, and I want to tell you the truth..." Tears fell from her eyes again and I reached out and wiped them gently with my fingers. I hate how she looked so hurt right now. I never want to see this expression on her face. "I lied when my brother asked me if I was in love with you. I said no, but... I am. I am in love with your character, your optimism, your kindness." She paused to catch her breath. She was rushing the words out as if she urgently needed me to hear them. "I am in love with you, everything about you, from the way you laugh to the way you carry yourself..."

I took a step back, shocked with the sudden confession that seemed to come out of nowhere. It feels too good to be true. I feel the weight of her words, the weight of her sincerity, even, but my mind still refused to believe. I don't know how to respond. I don't know if there's even a right way to respond.

She looked me in the eyes. I see it there. "I love you, Vane, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

My heart... It feels like it would combust any minute now.

I spent twenty-six days away from her, to heal myself, to move on from the memories and from possibilities I didn't think would ever happen. I spent twenty-six days alone, mourning over a love I thought I had lost, but here she is now. I spent twenty-six days, in an entirely different country, to forget about my feelings for her, and it was all for nothing.

It was all for nothing.

Because she's here now, and she's telling me that she's in love with me.

And who? Who am I kidding other than myself?

I am in love with her, too – even until now, even after being apart for almost a month, even after everything that has happened between us. All my attempts were in vain because this is one thing I can't run away from – my love for her. I've got so much of it.