In Love with the Darkness (A ROTG Story)

Chapter 12

In the next few weeks, I quickly learned my new limitations. Walking was completely out of the question. I had to crawl around on the floor, careful not to bang my ankles on anything.

The nightmare sand made sure that they were constantly throbbing, almost as bad as the first day.

I lost count of how many times Pitch had given me that drug. It was the only time I felt any sense of happiness. It was worth everything that came after to feel those few moments of bliss.

Pitch had gone for the day. He never talked about his work, and I never asked. It wasn't important anymore. Nothing was. We never talked anymore. It was like he was just using me for his own pleasure. If anything, things seemed to get worse.

I pulled up the console he had in his control room. He usually had it set to watch some child sleeping, but I had learned how to change it. I typed in the code, watching as the view changed to North in his workshop.

He worked on a toy, singing loudly to whatever music was playing with a large smile on his face. It made me smile as well. I felt the expansiveness in my chest again, but this time I wasn't scared of the feeling. I chased it.

It went on this way for a month or two, crawling around, Pitch having his way, and then watching the guardians live their happy lives. I think the feeling in my chest was happiness, true happiness. I couldn't identify the feeling. It was so different to anything I'd ever felt before.

When I turned the view to North's workshop, it was different. He was gone. I adjusted the view to see the dining room and I widened my eyes. All of them were there. They were all hugging and smiling and talking happily amongst themselves. Even Bunny's complaining took on a happy tone.

Tooth sat down, "Have any of you heard from Jack?"

I jolted in surprise, my breathing speeding up. Why were they talking about me? What importance did I have? I thought they'd all forgotten about me already.

The guardians all shook their heads, their smiles fading.

"There hasn't been any winter weather recently either." Bunny mused, a deep frown on his face.

"He's probably stuck somewhere. Who knows what's happening to him as we speak." North muttered.

The pain in his voice cut through me and I stared at them all in confusion. Why did they care? I'd only met them twice. Did they feel the same pull I did?

"Should we check? At Pitch's place?" Tooth asked the group.

North shook his head quickly, "No, we can't. If he's not there it'll incite a war."

"But what if he is there?!" Tooth shouted.

North shook his head sadly, "I don't know."

"If he could just get out of there, get to us, we could figure out how to protect him. It has to be his choice. Everything has been decided for him, nothing will feel real unless he decides for himself." Bunny said, chewing on a toothpick.

Tooth nodded, tears falling down her face, "I just wish he knew how much we care about him. How much he deserves love. He doesn't deserve what he's had to go through."

I stared at them with wide eyes, their words slicing through my chest. I had to get out. I had to go to them. My entire body tingled with the urge to see them. I wanted to hug them like they hugged each other, to smile and laugh and be happy for once in my life.

Pitch was drowning me. He was snuffing out my will to live and be an individual. My entire life had become nothing but a sad emptiness that only existed to please Pitch. There was better out there for me, the guardians proved that. I had a chance to feel happy, I just had to take it.

I heard the clamoring of Pitch returning to the lair and I rushed to turn the view back to the child. I crawled out of the room as quickly as possible, going to the bedroom. I winced with each step, the movement jolting through my broken bones painfully.

I sat there hoping that Pitch hadn't seen me. Things would be so much worse if he'd seen me. I tried to calm my breathing and look as though I hadn't done anything wrong.

Pitch appeared in the doorway to the bedroom with a wide smile on his face, "Oh, someone's ready for me already. I knew you liked it. You were just playing hard to get."

He came closer, his hands roaming my body and his lips kissing me roughly. He didn't give me any of the drug this time, he thought being in the bedroom was good enough. I cried silently as he thrust himself into me over and over again.

I didn't want this. I didn't want him. Maybe it was selfish, and maybe I was an awful person, but it was like Tooth said, I deserved better.

As Pitch's groans grew louder, I was making a plan on how to escape. I'd wait until he left for work in the morning. That should give me enough time to sneak outside, the wind should do the rest for me.

I was getting out for myself. It was time to be selfish for a change.