Forgotten Pleasure | Venable vs Winters [Book 2]

Chapter 18 | I Love You So

Days, weeks, and months fly. You're not sure how much time has passed ever since you discovered who you were. However, you still feel that there's something missing, your memories. Come to think of it, whenever you're trying to remember everything from your childhood till today there are some gaps that you're still finding out what happened to that part of your life.

You change a lot in this new chapter. You bought a house from the town where you grew up as a child, you may not remember it but it was written in some of the files that you got from your doctor. You're not entirely sure if you're doing this to open another phase of your life or if you're doing this to go back where you left off.

On top of that, you distance yourself by blocking everyone in your contacts, you set a wall from everyone that has to do with your past, and it's because you couldn't handle the betrayal you feel. You became the fool of your own story. You're not even sure what's wrong or what's right with the things you remembered throughout your life.

To make matters worse, everyone on the internet knows about the canceled wedding but they don't know the reason why and they keep on coming up with their own theories. Yet all you could ever think about is how people are treating Lana right now, you want to know if she's being harassed by the public or what but you want to keep your distance to respect her decision.

The break-up with Lana made your world shake but discovering your true identity sets it on fire. You're trying to recover from things that recently occurred even if you have to start it by standing on your own feet without reaching for anyone's hand. You ignore the pain when Lana called it quits but every time she crosses your mind it stings your heart. This second break-up hurts more than the first since now she has a clearer reason to leave you.

You're trying to pull yourself by taking a break from your career, Cecilia approves of it when she hears your story. It's controversial news but you told her not to break it off this time because you're still finding yourself.

At first, going to therapy wasn't any help. It did make things worse but at least discoveries lead to something. You're kind of glad that you went to see a therapist because now you have learned your identity regardless of how the people you trust the most hid it from you.

You've recovered physically from the car accident that happened two months ago, but you're still mentally and emotionally wounded. That is why you continue your sessions with Doctor Ellie and you visit her clinic every two weeks.

You apologized for how you behaved in the first session and she clearly understands it. She said that it's normal for those people to react aggressively when they have a big discovery in their lives.

Now, you just got out of another appointment with Doctor Ellie and you're currently shopping for Covyn's food. It's kind of weird to call your dog by your name because you literally give her your name without even knowing it before. About your therapy, nothing is interesting about your session because every session is just the same as the other, it's all about the past.

According to Doctor Ellie, she understands that you couldn't clearly remember or you don't have the right memories for about half of your life but you don't need memories to give you the key to moving on, you just need to accept and let go of the things you don't know.

Also, she's been telling you that you cannot do anything to change the past, you could only make peace with it so you can focus on the present and wait for the future. This makes sense but you're baffled about how can you make peace with your past without knowing the truth about what happened with it.

Doctor Ellie is such a great help but you're not going to simply accept and let go of the past that you don't absolutely know. That is why your current plan is to know more, to discover what really happened even if it was pleasant or not. You trust your gut feeling about what they tell you.